Sounding News, “Back in the Saddle”, January 4, 2022

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Greetings Sounding News family and friends, dear colleagues, participants and subscribers;

Welcome to the New Year, and I am happy to be writing this January edition of Sounding News. Entitled “Back in the Saddle”, it is a celebration of the new year, 2022.

Life itself invites us continuously to unfold the gifts we hold within ourselves. I often stop and breath. It is in this step of pausing, that I continuously refresh. It is almost as if the breath clears the space in front so as to allow for easeful maneuvering. I can see because I can breath, if you will.

Further, remembering that All is vibration is the gift of Sound, always. The waking state is full of sounds ~ the sound of the morning chores: brushing your teeth, making coffee, greeting housemates, family, pets, the shower, the dishwasher, the toaster, and so on. These sounds, are made up of vibrations. Even the subtle sounds of breathing and feeling/sensing/hearing the heartbeat remind us that we live in a world of sound.

Further still, our thoughts carry a vibration. Even though they seem silent, our tissues, which are also subtly vibrating in their watery casings, feel the results of our thoughts. When we can harness the energy of our thinking and tap in to or dovetail with the subtle channel of the heart, then we begin to walk in a sense of mastery as we command our vibration from our natural coherency. This awareness is grace, and it is our gift to grace to walk in its auspices.

Back in the saddle also refers to assisting vibrational awareness through Soundings. I love to contact you and connect through the medium of Sound. There is a mysterious quality in our coming together which has to do with what wants to be birthed forth, in a manner of speaking.

Often times, we have insights and qualities, strengths and knowing just below the surface of our awareness. We are looking for an excuse to allow those qualities to come forth.

Mark Twain quipped “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please”. So, you may say (take me for example) “I live here in Ohio, the United States and was born 1974 in Detroit. I live with a partner who is also my husband and two children.” And then, I can feel into that as a vibration, and play with it, writing “I live in the present moment, and am a partner with the mystery that is life. I breathe through my heart and feel what is relevant for this moment and for the moments to come.” Freedom.

Sounding your Presence is a beautiful bridge from the sort of wake-a-day realities of duties, pleasures and appointments to a somewhat more fluid and heart-centered experience of breathing, noticing and responding to life’s cues (and back and forth, and so on , et. al) Listening to your Sounding Portrait once a day or even once a week can support you as you “man the deck” or sort of “steer” the bridges of your life. The aspects you would like to focus upon, such as relaxing, allowing our energy to flow, and appreciating all the gifts in my life are natural gifts of your musical experience. In this new year and new month, 2022, celebrate what comes most naturally to you: thriving! Know I am here to support your thriving, and am blessed to do so.

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Thank you to all of my clients and friends whose presence through all of the peaks and valleys of 2021 filled me with joy and initiated me – availing us all of the deep, ineffable graces constantly present for us all.

Upcoming

An invitation regarding the World Sound Healing Day hosted by Jonathan Goldman and The Sound Healer’s Association is in the works.

As always, Sounding appointments and Heart to Heart Sounding appointments are available. You may sign up and pay for your appointment here http://www.voiceofpresenceohio.com and then we will be in touch via email about the details and know that I so look forward to service!

Love

Kathryn

Scrooge analogy for 2022

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Why is the Christmas Carol, the movie based on the Charles Dickens’ book, such a powerful palette cleanser at this time of year? I would like to argue that is the triumph of humanism over materialism. Why do I use the word humanism, instead of human spirit?

It is precisely because the tasks that Scrooge sets out to undertake and complete for himself – his actionable steps, if you will, that bring the ideas he learned in his reckoning with time past, present and future, to the ground. Where the rubber meets the road, as they say.

If we look at the tale from Jungian point of view, all the characters representing an aspect of one psyche, we see that a life lived in materialism is not necessarily wasted. It could have been that the very materialism that Scrooge worshiped allowed him to finally transcend it. And along the way, he makes a good point about paying taxes. It is not against the law to be miserly, and it is also very helpful to support society through taxes for the impoverished, uneducated, and violent. These simple acts of maintaining a business and commerce is one of those unsung heroic deeds of working men and women everywhere. Yet, Scrooge wants more. He is haunted, eventually, by his only friend and business partner, who was unable to move on to the next level of evolution because he head not finished certain tasks. He had not been able to reconcile how he had behaved in his life, and was weighted down by guilt and remorse. This is a self-correcting aspect of the human psyche. It is perhaps why we don’t like to speak about death openly and candidly. It forces us to look in the mirror and reckon with our life’s choices, attitudes and beliefs. Yet the fact that we cannot bring anything with us – the cold hard fact – shown towards the end of the movie when the Angel of Death brings Ebenezer to his grave is not enough to make us mend our ways, either. No, what finally allows us to move forward is the little child within, the Tiny Tim who longs for love and care and guidance through the challenges of growing up – how to walk without crutches – how to move forward and maintain heart, courage and wit. This love that goes unexpressed in Scrooge’s life bursts forth after he realizes that is the truest wealth he has to offer the world. Of course he has great discernment and doesn’t just throw his money away, but begins to “squander it” little by little, generously according to what the other characters can possibly absorb. He does so without flash or asking for recognition. Some might ask – is it too much a price to pay – to live so selfishly and only at the end shower his love on the world? Who are we to say? The precise movements of the Soul are the domain of each individual’s perception. That Scrooge allowed himself, was allowed, however you want to word it, to explore the excess of materialism is what eventually lead to – not just the generosity – but the discernment with which to share it. And because he had behaved so badly, he felt, he could now behave like a saint, and nobody would resent him for it! And well does he behave. Through uncorking all the love that he has repressed through his life, he is able to wield the power of transformation through extraordinary grace available to us all. And he did it his way,, and he did it fast.

So, who are we to judge in 2022 those of us Scrooge like with our time, money, and any other resource? What great transformation awaits us? When is selfishness, in fact, a virtue, – or, more precisely, when is it not?

Merry New Year to the Scrooge in us all,

Fondly,

Kathryn Kathryn

Letter to the children’s school leaders:

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Before I begin, I want to tell you a little about me:

acknowledge that my voice might be a lone one in a sea of compliance – a compliance born out of fear, apathy, curiosity, and a mindset of “Where we don’t understand, let us instead, command”. 

I want to acknowledge that as I write this, it is 2am, a time in which my body is usually asleep, yet conscious peaks where the heart is awake to

I want to acknowledge that one of my children came home with a stress headache today and missed a favorite activity because of sharing with me that “people are against me” at school.  He’s worried for his mom! 

I want to acknowledge that there are more categories to be explored besides the consciousness of “vaxer” and “anti-vaxer” and, as one 12-year child asked me what side I was on demonstrated, it really is a divice of issue.  When I answered that I am for the individual – the individual person/family, they became silent.  This is not a conversation that an elementary school student could initiate with me, I feel.  A five-year-old is more of a feeling being, not cognizant, and a fifth grader is preoccupied with other developmental duties.  Introducing a medical procedure in our buildings may bring in the unintended consequence of feeling like you exist on a side – a side that separates you from your classmates and other students.  Who speaks of individuality in primary school?  Further . . .

Have you considered:

There are parents that feel that the vaccine may not be appropriate for their child at this time and that the peer pressure to conform to the school’s declaration that is is “good news” that their facility will be used as a vaccine site may put them and their family outside of the narrative, creating false divisions of “good/bad” and “right/wrong” as it concerns decisions that are medical in nature and therefore sensitive and the domain of each family’s private choice?

Have you considered that those children who are not vaccinated are ostracized from those who are – that the idea that people who aren’t vaccinated are “not safe” to be around – a theme that is very popular in promoting vaccine usage but may be more of a mind-set based on a sense of trepidation – the unknown?

Have you considered the placebo/nocebo effect and this very real phenomenon of being cured or harmed by the investment in belief – be it a medicine, a diagnosis, a procedure – and the results of that belief on the functioning of every system of the body – whether it be to upgrade or downgrade the system? 

Have you considered that the territory of our children’s school – a place where they have been free to study and play in the presence of familiar adults and peers and the fact that some of their classmates are undergoing procedures that could be frightening and disturbing or confusing, painful –  that their territory is  being invaded, in a sense, and that could be shocking and disturbing to some children, creating unintended consequences?

Have you considered the effect of cortisol and adrenaline – two bodily chemicals that down-grade cell processes in humans – on the children as they are aware that, as they learn all day in their classrooms, children in the building may be being poked?

Have you considered that children of five and ten, though very different in cognition, nevertheless have relationships with each other in the building, that in some cases the older children are paired with younger ones, and that there may be a feeling of helplessness as older children are not able to protect the younger children (siblings in a way, if you will, who they have been encouraged to “look out for” at recess, for example) from the very real fear of needles and being poked and prodded?

Have you considered that as medical personal monitor the health status of those who receive the vaccination – that their won’t be a sense of distraction as classmates and teachers are then put in the position of monitoring the students who return, or worrying about those who may feel ill and need more time/rest/ or to take the rest of the day off of school?

Have you considered that the consciousness of being around folks who are choosing or discarding what has become a sort of “hot-button” topic, no thanks to news needing ratings to hold attention, and if it bleeds it leads as they say, – and that the choice to focus on other aspects of healthy living – like the joy of movement, nutrition, friendship and learning that is so present in the classroom – will be compromised in favor of a topic that they are not yet equipped to think about let alone discuss with any sort of restraint or nuance or compassion for various points of view?

While the dust is kicked up, and clear seeing and cogent action that regards the developmental needs – and not just the real or perceived health needs – of our children is not yet available, why not wait and allow testing and other medical sites to be erected in more neutral and less-assuming areas of town – a metaphor for a more neutral area of consciousness for our children?

While the dust is kicked up, why not let our families make individual choices between them, their children, and their doctors – and leave the classroom a place of developmentally appropriate learning – free from any fear, trepidation, confusion, curiosity, distraction, you get the point? (no pun intended).

While the dust is kicked up, why not upgrade consciousness to “wait and see” and again, honor the individual prerogative of the parents and families with the help of their doctors, their support systems and their conscience – why not upgrade the message you are spreading to “wait and see” and “trust in the individual capacity to discern and choose” and therefore model for our children ways to downgrade fear as a useful mindset?

Of course, this discussion does not consider those families and individuals who are in various trauma states due to life-circumstances – illness being one of those circumstances – though disruption in routine, predictable behavior and resources, sources of support and relief being just a few others.  Can we be sure that the efforts to preserve the ability to choose what is best for each child and family will be preserved in the most vulnerable of us?  In other words, are we not, as a human family, a little like a deer in headlights having been at the mercy, so to speak, of the landscape of uncertainty and the fear of getting sick?  Even if some of us have gotten sick and recovered, the fact that even one person is made to be a statistic by their death – and may God rest their soul in that case –  by the effects of what is being categorized as a pandemic – even though some of us have not actually been sick or had a loved one or family member or friend debilitated by this – the fact that even one person is made to be a statistic – this is introducing what is essentially “existence conflict” during a time in a person’s life – childhood – that the thought “I’m okay, You’re okay” can be deeply and effectively programmed for life-long well-being as a supportive belief?

Let our schools be free from medical procedure and the seen and unforeseen consequences of – at the lightest distracting and the heaviest burdening our children from the business of being children.  The playground, a place we highly prize for our kids growing bodies, being a metaphor for a life of choice between many wonderful experiences, to be had, the lessons of strength, resiliency and friendship woven in unconsciously – is a place we must therefore consciously protect and ensure that the discussions we adults seem to enjoy participating and debating, exciting as they seem, made to be valued by those in our purview who have their own ideas of excitement, joy, discovery and relationship free from fear to engage with and in. 

Thank you.

Holiday update, from my Heart to yours

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A holiday update from Katie Hart Teixeira, December 14, 2021.   Photo credit Amelia Hallsworth, from Pexel dot com

Recently, I published, on my blog, a draft of my first book, entitled “Eyewitness”.  Wanting to strengthen the witnessing capacity in my life, the ability to observe without having to decode everything I am seeing and perceiving, I embarked on a journey that took me to my very heart.  This is a place of subtlety that invites surrender, because, let’s face it, not only do we not have control, but there is always a larger picture playing out.  When “I” act before realizing this, I sometimes put into motion events that are really none of my business – that I then feel the need to defend, since I put skin, or “attention on it”, into the game. 

On the other hand, this is the Christmas season, the More Christos (the consciousness of “Anointing”)  season, more light, more love – the antidote to nature’s receding light leading up to and surrounding the Solstice.  The darkest night of the year is December 21st, after which, in the natural world, we begin to wax towards more and more light, culminating in the Summer Solstice on June 21stWhat does this have to do with holidays, with book-draft publishing and with witnessing?

We are part of the natural ebb and flow of nature.  As such, every day is holy, or wholeness expressed in a single day:  the turn of the earth on its 24-hour access and, the sleep/wake cycle or our circadian rhythms, in a single year: the spin of the earth, day by day, around the whole orbit of the sun and the season within our hemisphere’s embrace, a single life:  infancy, childhood, adulthood and old age. 

We have little to say about these rhythms and patterns – they are part of an ancient design that, you could say, inhales and exhales our experiencing as its own.  As such, a modicum of surrender, humility and trust give us sway in determining the quality, the wholeness or holiness of our experience, moment to moment.  This is what we celebrate and why we celebrate the birth of light – in symbolic form as whatever tradition is in your bones – during nature’s cycles.  This is why I write, why I witness, and why I celebrate holiness every day: To remember.  To embrace what is and in so, allow what could be to unfold. To reach out and share my heart so that I can feel.

It is in this spirit, that I write to you and offer my deepest wishes for the conscious awareness of peace, prosperity, and trust.  I would like to quote from Father Greg Boyle’s book:  The Whole Language, when he says

              “You are exactly what God had in mind when he made you”. 

                                                                                                     Greg Boyle.

Remembering the goodness as my essence as the essence of each being calls to my heart this season and always.  Thank you for reading, and thank you for being you.

Love,

Katie

A url for my blogpost with the draft of “Eyewittness”: https://kathryn-sings.com/2021/12/14/eye-witness-full-installment-first-draft/

Eye Witness, installment 3

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Eye Witness

What:  a crime has been committed, the death of the spirit of a human being

When: while adjusting to earth

Where:  at the sight of belief

Why:

How:  amnesia

There has been a crime committed.  A body has been found living in the Earth Plane, Milky Way Galaxy, in a solar system on the outer ring of its spiral.   

She is walking around with no idea of her true identity – vulnerable to the beliefs of the mass consciousness around her and oblivious to the gifts that she garners within her spirit’s life which includes but transcends time.  She has allowed her amnesia to become complete, and is, as we speak, among the walking dead.  Her mind is full of fear and self-loathing, and I want to know why. I AM the Eye Witness.

Eye Witness:  played by the Author

Mind:  played by the Author

Council of Elders:  Intuitive guides who support Eye Witness, translated by Author

Heart, the realization of the Self of All – played by the Essence of the All, translated by the Author

The Eye Witness begins speaking:

What we have here is essentially a play in three acts.  The first act is the beginning of the amnesia of a human, the second act is remembering, and the third act, is the improvisatory stage that is created in honor of the first act.  It is to be lived in the time of no-time which cannot be described without considerable effort on our part, so we will leave that bit for later.

What comes to mind is to canvas the murder sight for clues.  To this end we implore you to engage your imaginations and come with us to a world that has no physical bearings whatsoever.  This world is not only dark and formless, it is empty.  What differentiates it from the sort of vacuum or void that it could be imagined here is the fact of its utter stillness, and for lack of a better word, peace. 

A peace that passes understanding is one with no opposite.  No attachment whatsoever to any concept of a polar bearing, while including that concept.  It just is, and that is what makes it the perfect site to plan a murder.

What, you ask?  A murder of the perfection of a peace that is beyond understanding?

Yes, and it is beyond understanding, because it is beyond time, which is synonymous here, with Mind (M).

M. how do you know that?

I don’t know.  I un-know.

M. what do you mean by that?

It reveals itself to me, not through the mind, but that which allows the mind to exist.  It is felt in the gut and traces upwards through the sternum, warming the body as if lit within by a toasty fire on a cold, cold day.

M. revelation, then?

I’ll leave that for you to “understand”.  More on that later.  Back to our murder scene . . .

. . .Where was I?  Oh, yes, utter stillness.  Observing the unfathomable strength and subtlety of this state, which has its roots in indefatigable nothingness without bearing or origin, you are aware of your divine nature – whole, holy and blessed to be a part of that which is nothing or no-thing.  It is the birthplace of contentment since it has no emphasis whatsoever.  And this contentment is without end, endlessly varied, complete and full within itself.  Just writing about it my Heart, or sacred core, responds in recognition.  At the same “time” recognition is expressed, there is a caveat: no one who experiences this depth of benevolence and grace leaves untouched.  Aware of the gift of life, free to partake of the immortal waters of gender-bending system-wide and constant whole-being bliss dialysis, the urge comes to each who knows “what they are” to contribute.

M.  Ah, therein lies the rub.  It’s the old tribal rule:  contribute or die! 

You are not dead, yet, for you have no need of belief.  It is more like, contribute to your own unfoldment and share the gifts of sovereignty with the All, of which you are a microcosm.

M. okay?

In other words, contribute to the unfoldment of All, of which you are, or stay stagnant and atrophy.  And we come to earth, the site of the murder, to learn about choosing.  In the end, or outside of beginnings and endings, the now, we have chosen everything, because we enjoy the way the light refracts through us when we have become aware as a multifaceted bejeweled being.  Diamonds ARE a gal’s best friend, when it means knowing what you are so completely you give over to it.

M: wait, you are saying we are choosing this experience to stretch ourselves so that we can become what we already are?  Where is the fun in that?

Who said anything about fun?  What it is not is fun.  What it can be is an adventure with great seeming peril, which upon closer look is just files after files of fast moving still-shots, that you are shooting and participating in ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

M:  fuck.  And this is impossibly riveting.  Like choosing your own adventure, except we have forgotten we have a choice!!

Precisely.  Well said, mind.  You have a real future, you know?

M:  I do?

Nah, I was just kidding.  You are totally D.O.A. (Dead on Arrival).

M:  very funny.  Are you saying that I am born with the body and therefore die with it?

We aren’t saying anything without our lawyer.  Just kidding.  It’s like you want to know where you originate, correct?  But your origin is without origin since it has no beginning or end and is both existent, non-existent and beyond.  How do you describe a parabola?  It is a curve whose opposite is a straight line.  With straight lines your geometry is limited.  Just add curves and the sky’s the limit!  You have circles and shapes without end and just ask any kid if they prefer playing with sticks or a ball. 

But I digress.

Yes.  Mind, you are limited in your manifest form, and limitation, since it has an opposite, cannot survive on the flat line of non-duality that is your unmanifested nature (which, by the way, feels really good – like that bliss or nirvana that those sages describe – a long constant psychasm). 

M:  so, I throw myself a curveball, in so many words, and now we are calling that a crime?

I’m not calling the curve ball a crime, I am simply an eye witness.  You have called it a crime because of all your pissing and moaning at the outcome of your pitch!

M:  Can we slow down a bit here?

You got it, Muchacho.

M:  muchacho . . . really?

Just playing with you, Man.

M:  okay, long as it isn’t The Man.

Feeling self-conscious?

M. yes, I don’t want to get a bad rap here.

A bad reputation?  For what?  Your utter lack of skill combined with a clumsy trajectory in the face of the unknown?

M.  I thought we were going to slow down?

Just playing with you, M, since you are so fun to play with. 

M.  good to know, I guess.

Yes:  the murder scene.  You are born into a body which you select after determining to leave the Utter stillness of your sacred and holy everlasting and joy-without-reason-presence (to practice choosing for a short-time, according to you may we remind you :).  And the depth of your forgetting is palpable the moment you hit the room, aka pushed and pulled vigorously from the womb.

M.  I just need to take a few moments here and breathe.  Can we pause for a moment?

Take your time. 

Several infinite moments later

M.  I’m grieving.

Tell me all about it.

M.  it just feels like too much.  It’s all just too much.  What is this?  What is this place and why is it so bright and cold and …foreign?

What do you mean by foreign? 

M. what comes to mind (no pun intended) is that everyone is taking me so seriously.  I mean, I like the feeling of being fed, held and so forth, but why is everyone in my face so much?  What do they want from me? 

Oh, you mean your parents? 

M.  is that what you call those things?

Well, it depends.  You see, there are parents, nurses and doctors, siblings, grandparents, cousins, neighbors, the family pet and whatever else is in your environment, in the dual, and polar, plane which is called earth.

M.  yeah, well can they back up and give me some space?  Can I just be for a while?

Oh, you want “To Be” for a while?  Is that it?  Is that why you bothered to make this trip, to take-on this adventure, to be?

M. what do you mean?

Let’s back up.  Remember the moment you decided to come to the earth plane to experience your opposite so that you can know utterly and completely what you are?

M. dimly

Okay, we can start with that:  you did.  Now, are you going to begin complaining about your choice because it seems difficult at this moment?

M.  yes and no.

You sound like an earthling already!

M. fuck you!

Yeah, I get that a lot.  No worries, you have got to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to have some anger about the spot you appear to be in.  And I stress “appear.”

M.  okay, if I go forward with this, If I decide to not back out of this agreement I’ve made and I believe that I will know what kind of options I have here, what is in it for me?

You may not be able to see this for a while, Mind, and you’re going to have to go through some ugly shit, I’m not gonna lie.  I will remind you that you knew that it could get rough here sometimes and that it ain’t always pretty – or a bed of roses, to say the least.

M. I just wish I could remember right from the go that I am making these choices, that I have choices.

Yeah, I get that.  But that is not this time around.  You need to feel yourself from the inside, and carve your life from that vantage point, even though you are coerced, ahem, to say the least, into living according to the dictates around you. 

You have asked, if you will remember, to strengthen yourself in this way, with this cast of characters, at this apparent time and place so that you will know.

M.  know what?

Know what you are and what you aren’t. 

M.  please, continue.  Say more.  I’m desperate.

It cannot be too deep beneath the surface of your memory, as this is not your first rodeo.  But settle into yourself and feel.  Where do you feel yourself, your identity, your being?

M.  in the body?  It emanates from the center. Around the heart.

Oh, I love that word! Emanation!  That is fine.  You know that you are a beat that keeps on beating, a pulse, a vibration, contraction and expansion.  These can all be synonyms for emanation.

M.  yes, I know.

How do you know again?

M. well, I feel it and it feels good, it feels familiar, it feels home.

What about when what you are emanating does not feel good?

M. what do you mean?

When you feel pain or fear or confusion.

M. that doesn’t feel like me.

Then what is it?

M. it is me looking for me.

Ah!  Look carefully at your wording: “me looking for me”.

M.  what is that?

It is a state.

M.  what?

It is a state of being – just as when you are emanating what feels good, familiar and home, as you “stated” earlier.

M. I said that?

Take a moment and look.  Let’s review again, shall we?

M. okay.  I feel like a little kid.

Well, we are just beginning this adventure, and you are watching with me from the beginning.

M. like going back in time in our mind?

More on that later, I promise.  But let’s review our conversation from a few moments ago.

M. okay.

I asked you where you felt your being and you said from the inside, in the center, as a vibration.  And that it felt good.

M. yes, it feels good.

Yes, it does.  You are in coherency.  You are aligned with the what of you and are riveted to that and nothing else.

Pause.

When you emanate from a place of fear and chaos, you are also “you” – a vibration that you describe as “me looking for me” – which is the opposite of coherency.  The opposite of coherency is called incoherency.

M.  what is that? 

Coherency is like the sin wave:  all of the crests and troughs of a wave are equal in distance, and phase is constant.  Like this photo that I found for free on the web:

Wavelength and amplitude are the same and are utilizing the same source of data and are in alignment.

M.  are we going to math now?  You know I was not so good at that.

We do not have to use a math example.  It is not important.  What is important is you recognize how it feels when you are in its state:  calm, focused, happy, centered and so on. For example, if you think about that dog that you were petting yesterday – remember you began to enter a zone with the animal?  Petting the dog was calming to you – touching the fur and seeing the dog respond to your interest and stimulation with a roll onto its back, exposing its belly. . .

M. oh yes, I love to be around animals.  And that room was chaotic where we were picking up my child from a birthday party.

Yes.  And now we are revealing that Eye Witness and Mind are one and the same.

M.  are we getting ahead of ourselves?

What do you mean?  Still believing in time?  Ha!  I know, that’s a joke.  We will bounce around quite a bit here, “we” being the operative word, though it is all one.

M.  when I am feeling coherent, as the diagram demonstrates, the wavelength and amplitude are equidistant within a given distance (is that called phase?)

Ah!  Look who is revealing their education.  Where did you study?

M. meta You – a metaphysical university course written by Dr. Toni Petrinovich.

Have you studied heart-math?

M. no, just read about it.

Hmmm. You have studied.

M.  a lot of good it does me when I cannot remember that it is all me – incoherent, coherent, – every emanation that I have ever emanated is me!  (queue music from Romantic Era).

It is frustrating to know things intellectually, but not be able to draw on that knowledge when the shit hits the fan.

M. yeah, and it is a mass of chaos out there! 

Okay, slow down, what are you believing?

M. that picking up my daughter from a birthday party should not be so difficult!

What was difficult about that? 

M: so many people emanating different things – wanting this or wanting that, seeing things one way, and casting you into their script – that’s what it feels like.

And where is your choice in all of this?

M.  feeling my way through it all felt like walking a minefield: so many minds in so many different places with confusing or incoherent vibrations abounding.

So, the folks at the end of the party were emanating confusion?  What were they consulting within?  Was it a single source – that of knowing what they are and what is their choice of intention and focused vibration, or were the individuals consulting multiple sources within, all at the same time?

M.  The children were content to keep playing while the hosts of the party appeared to be holding space for the transition of “party is over”.  I’m imagining they wanted their home back from “party space” to the relatively calmer scene of “personal family space” and probably wanted to peel off the role of host like a pair of wet clothes on a cold day – if they are anything like me – kid parties can be tiring!

Good.  So, the kids were in one headspace, heart space:  contentment with the status quo, and the hosts were in another space:  let’s transition this scene to one preferable.

You observing this found the wavelengths incompatible:  One coherent and one incoherent.

You, being of practice wanted to stay in coherence, so you decided to just wait and see – hold space for the transition while waiting in your car – visible from the yard, listening to music while the vibes found a meeting ground for a peaceful transition.

M. yes, I guess that is what was happening.

Where is the minefield?

M. i felt that the parents were expecting me to do something.  Pressure.

Ah, yes.  And you were not consulting that part of you for them.  So, you felt, what was it?

M. resistance.

Yes, so when you focused on resistance, you felt resistance? 

M. yes.

You stopped consulting your coherence, your patience in the face of pressure?

M. It felt hard to me, which is a sign of pushing or not allowing.

I don’t know what to say.  It may feel hard at first to observe the different waves going on all at the same time.  I have a question for you.  Did you have a feeling the adults were acting more like children?

M.  more like a judgement.

And did that affect how you waited, “patiently?”

M.  you could say that.

So, you were being patient with the impatient adults while the children spent their time ignoring it all and playing?

M.  yes.

Sounds like a lot was going on with you.

M. yes.

Why should adults behave more coherently than children?

M.  damn!

Yes.

M.  damn, I blinded myself again!  I forgot about compassion.

Compassion will always be there when you need it.  Could it be that you needed this judgment, to remember that adults are just kids in big skins – who want to play but maybe who have forgotten and maybe who are unfocused and chaotic within their beliefs?

M.  people?

Yeah, people just being people.  Welcome to mass consciousness also affectionately known as herd mentality.

M.  vulnerability.

That card is more useful than you’ve been trained to notice.

M.  vulnerability is power, I’m told.

Well, congratulate the teller for me, because I think we are onto something!

M.  hasn’t this been one big tangent?

What do you mean?

M.  are we at the scene of the crime, birth into a body and into a set of coordinates that are represented by the beliefs of family, culture, neighborhood, economic status, religion and so on and so forth?

Aren’t we getting fancy with our “set of coordinates that are represented by . . .”.

M. thank you.  I try.

Has it been a tangent? Yes and no.  It Segway’s beautifully into the belief you have carried into this incarnation.

M.  okay, I’ll let you go on, for now, but I’d like to discuss this reincarnation – more than one time at the rodeo – thing at some point, okay?

You got it.  So, you are being born – from the warm and relatively safe womb into the hands of the doctor if you are at hospital.  You are very aware of how it all feels to your body and yet are concurrently allowing yourself to adjust to the new atmosphere wherein you find yourself:  air, bright lights, touch (prod, poke, wipe, swaddle and so on) and sucking food.  You are moving your limbs and opening eyes to the air around you, breathing and taking it all in.  It is exquisitely discomforting as well as somewhat curious and at times pleasurable.  It is new, as you are.  It occupies all that you are and then you fall asleep, for the first time with a full belly, in your mother’s arms.  Your neurons are firing as you grow your ability to adjust to this environment.  You are extremely busy.

M.  what does this Segway to or from?

Remember the belief you have those “adults should be coherent”?

M. yes.  They should.

This is where it all begins.

M. what do you mean?

You, as a baby child, are beginning to respond to your environment and as your parents respond to you, you are developing trust in this place you call the world and its ability to nurture you.

M.  go on.

You are very vulnerable, and adults respond to that vulnerability – whether you are crying to be fed, whimpering from frustration, or screaming bloody murder in pain.  The rub lies in how they respond.  You need them to respond.  Your life depends on it.  You have this bond with your caregivers that is based on your vulnerability.  You are powerful in a way.

M.  and open to feeling powerless.

Yes, if you do not get your needs met, yes.

M.  is this why there are SIDS babies?

One reason.  There may be medical reasons or even pre-birth plans to have a certain set of experiences with a group of beings.

M.  oh.

Most babies make it and have adequate caregivers.  But the quality of the bond is one that can be weakened by neglect/overstimulation.

M.  this is not rocket science.

Yes, and most babies are born into somewhat chaotic situations, no matter how well-meaning the parents.

M.  word to parents who may be molded by religion, extended family, illness, sleep deprivation, as well as baby’s siblings, the family pet, the climate, culture, neighborhood . . .

How you are all able to manage is your vulnerability.  You are open to the nurturing you receive and have no resistance.  It mitigates the uncomfortable times.

M.  then what happens?

As I think you may know, around the time you begin schooling, if you go to school, then comes belief.   You are told you are not a “what”, not a consciousness with individual attributes and levels of understanding, but a who, and eventually, you believe it. Once you begin a pattern of belief – which is defined as trusting in something without the need for proof, you begin doubting the only thing that is relevant to you.

M. which is?

You tell me.

M. the only thing relative to me is my experience.  It is the only thing that is mine.

Your experience is the point!  You already contain the remembrance of what you are, and now Infinity is living through you as you for an experience, and it is, from this perspective, absolutely divine. You already are everything, so there is nothing that needs to be given to you from outside.  And yet . . .

M. and yet now I am “so and so’s child” who lives at a postal address that is called my “home”, and I have certain attributes, good and bad, habits and attitudes, and observe a religion or code, express in norms in culture and language . . .

And belief about these attributes replaces how you are naturally – the You of you – a Sovereign Being infinitely connected.  You are not separate.  You are not even an “I” since that connotes separation. Your mind begins to release its curiosity in favor of the beliefs that appear to result in security and familiarity.  You are taught to survive, not thrive, and then you begin to use the power of belief to mold yourself.

M.  I remember when my oldest child was a toddler and naturally referred to everyone and everything as “Lizzie” or as being her possession: Lizzie’s.  She had to be taught separation.

Yes. The belief mold gets “fired” into something solid, or rigid and your apparent edges become fixed.  You begin to live through expectation of how life “should” be instead of curiosity and presence.

M. while living this way, I may be in tune with the mores of the people around me . . .

. . .Yet it is a trade-off, for you may lose harmony with yourself, and by “may” I mean 90 percent of the time – an uncomfortable situation to say the least.

M. feels like a catch 22:  I want to be true to myself, I do.  I want to maintain my own authenticity and expansive curiosity – in my own eyes.  Yet the folks around me are asking me to please “don’t”.  They sure seem powerful – and they can feed me, too!

Yes.  This is the portion of your life where you develop your amnesia.  It is part of the game, to be blunt, and now it is time to remember.  When you no longer live with your family or even if you still live with them, it is not important for your survival how your parents should respond to you and when, how they mirror you or don’t mirror you, how they are in relation to their own vulnerability to life and so on.

M. it is okay to thrive.

Cast off the cloak of otherness and own your responsibility to YOU!

Silence.

M. freedom please, now!  There is no beginning or ending, only NOW!

You are a frontrunner in this.  That is why you have utilized a teacher.  And now you are beginning to take over that role for yourself. 

M.  I can be vulnerable to the joy, love, insight and nurturance in life, that feeds and nourishes me. I can stay balanced, because moments come and go, and the nurturance is always just around the corner from a feeling of lack, within a sense of personal empowerment.

Your personal empowerment is your map of creation. 

M. can you say more about that?

Whenever you begin to feel discomfort, or fear, you stop.

M. like stop drop and roll?

?

M. we are taught that when there is fire on the body – which in this analogy is a form of fear – we first stop.  Running feeds oxygen to the flames.

Apt analogy!  Go on.

M. so then we drop – close to the ground wherein we can extinguish the flame by depriving it of oxygen.

Okay, I’m following.

M. the flame appears big and scary, but when we roll over it, it becomes extinguished between our body and the ground.  There is nothing to feed it there, and it goes out.

If I may?

M. please, do!

So, you stop in order to recognize that there is fear.  It feels scary and “real”, like a fire on the body, but running from it feeds its reality.  Stopping gives you a moment to realize your situation.

M. the “fire” attached to your body (and 99.9 percent of the time based on belief) doesn’t know how to put itself out.

As an analogy for fear, I can’t think of anything more useful.

Silence.

Where do you drop to, in this analogy?

M. my heart, my gut.

The place deep within where you are free to trust since you are authentic.

M. yes, no masks to deal with, here.

How do you develop the courage to “roll with it” in this analogy?

M. it feels like you are asking me “where do I develop the courage to breathe” . . .

Okay . . .

M. when I don’t breathe, or roll with it, then I get burned.  It hurts.

And you don’t like to suffer?

M. i am losing my taste for it, fast.

Silence.

M. losing my religion.

Not all religion promotes suffering.

M. oh really?  Do you know what planet we are on?

Chuckle.

The belief in the “value of suffering” . . . which produces so much resistance to any suffering that may want to dissipate, as all feelings do – even the ones we want to hold on to!

M. the topic could fill volumes.

This is not your average conversation.

M. good.  I’m tired of being “your average bear”.

Silence.

M.  I’d like to use my divine strength to mold different experiences.

How do you do that?

M. I don’t know.  And then I breathe into it with an energy of connection, of desire, of love and gratitude, abundance and compassion.

So, you admit it when you don’t know, that there is nothing to figure out, and then you relax into it, trust and offer up energy?

M. yes, and if fear comes up, I change my focus.  I allow a picture, an emotion come into my mind that brings me strength and comfort and then I link it to the Heart which magnifies my intention to flow with a feeling of allowance.

And then you focus on the breath?

M. it is the closest thing in this apparent world to What I AM.  Especially between the breath.

Closest analogy?

M. yes.  And when I don’t need analogies anymore, I can be easy about it.

When will that be?

M. it is now if I let it.  It is a decision and commitment

Are you ready?

M. I AM. 

What if you stumble?

M. I most surely will.  Yet I have something that helps me get back on the horse.  I have community of folks, who are also practicing this reorganization in their silent, alone time.

You will value “no pain no gain” again?

M. yes, until I know that I am a Master of Mind, and not its servant, connected to my electromagnetic Heart and connecting with my environment and community.

What is Master of Mind?

M. not needing to follow its dictates or even preferences.

The tail wagging the dog.

M. yes, not needing the Mind to wag me.  Master.

Sounds like you know what you are talking about . . .

M. again, until I don’t.

Then you return to your beginners play book?

M. “I don’t know”, and I don’t NEED to know, and breathe into my Heart.  Let my mind come to rest and offer perspective, comfort, truth, honesty, and Not “Minding”. 

Surrender.

M. listen:  I sit in my chair and ask myself:  “what is this about?” if it is pain then I let the discomfort speak to me.  I trace it back to its origins in belief.  I decide if I still want to believe it whole-cloth, part, or none at all.  I ask, What are you here to teach me about myself?  What do I need to change?  What do I need to hold on to and what do I need to let go of, now?

What does it say?

M. it depends, but there are some themes.

Oh please, do tell!

M. are you desperate?

Incredibly!

M. it is not hard to discern fear of change – the unknown – or even the fear of the fear of change – let’s face it – the only constant being change!

You are really a piece of work, Mind!

M. i try. (chuckle)

Can you give me an example?

M. example:  my ego is demanding to be entertained.  The belief it is necessary to be interacting with people all the time – or to be left alone all the time – some sort of “definition” or label or extreme way of interpreting life. I allow the discomfort of this belief to unravel by not playing into it.  Not going towards or away yet observing with presence.  I watch and see what is behind the belief.  Sitting still is the name of the game!

Children can be stubborn. oh, I mean egos.  (smile).

M.  you mean business.  After you offer direction in the form of limits, you can thank yourself for being there as a model and mirror and then open-up to the spirit of creativity.  It IS like parenting a child ~ one that is stubborn and sure of themselves ~ when you do this work.  The payout is real.

Yes, that is how you learn the power of choice and the will to enact it with grace.

M. indeed it is.  There are choices that result in harmony within unity – or that result in uncomfortable consequences (the “burn”) and then you can gage which actions are appropriate.  Question: My children, they are learning boundaries from me – and aren’t those also limitations?

There are boundaries that are helpful for organized living and basic respect.  Boundaries that allow for developing different abilities and strengths and boundaries for hygiene of the mind. Those are not the ones we are looking at.

M. ? 

We are looking at how seriously we are taking it all.

M. ?

Yes, the sense of there being “a right way to do things”.

M. never heard of the concept!

Yes, you want to offer discipline to your children and yet give them creative sway over their own story.  It is their life, after all, and your best bet for training them is observing their sovereignty and all their stellar attributes, foregoing unhelpful criticism.  Give them a model of a human being who lives in remembrance, who lives in joy.  They learn from you how to remain a What and not succumb to a who.

M. and the What is what?

Yes.  It is essentially unknowable because it is always present in the NOW – always expanding into its capacities and releasing former versions: basically, a constant molt.

M. that is more profound than I care to realize.

Breath.  Again, your breathing shows you this – you are constantly bringing in energy and oxygen and releasing what has been utilized through your inhale and exhale.  Your physical body is constantly changing, why wouldn’t all your realities also be affected?

M. What is my anchor, then?

It is your intention. 

M.  what is intention?

Which one?

M. There is MORE THAN ONE?

Let’s breathe for a bit here.  Empty out.  Empty out the concept that you are a one-dimensional being.  You are a many-dimensioned being and a “house with many rooms”.  See? You are typing and accessing your mind to write, your heart to feel into the message, your muscle memory for the fingers on the keyboard, your hearing of the cicadas outdoors, the smell of the rice cooking in the kitchen, the feel of the carpet under your bare-feet – your awareness of the field from which emerges your consciousness. . .

M. All of that is going on at once.

That and much more.

M. say more.

So, you are intending this book to be written, that is one intention, and yet your overall intention in this incarnation is to remember and live What you Are.

Thank you so much for reading.

Comments and questions, email me

or write me a note!

420 Mimring Road

Columbus, Ohio, 43202

Thank you!

Kathryn Hart Teixeira

Sandy shores

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The waves of the unknown crash against the sandy shores of my perception. Choice, always choice.

What am I? Until I answer, the waves crash. Emphatically, I ignore the question.

The waves continue. Yet my perception, though reordered with each campaign and retreat, clings to the habitual, the familiar.

Scrubbed over and over, the motion, abrasion, sheers me. The sand eats the water eats the sand.

What am I?

The question echoes, it awakens me to my desperation.

Yet, still, I cling to what is unmoored, shifting, endlessly rocked.

Do I go with the motion? Yes, sometimes.

OF course I am not the waves or the sand. I am the witness, yet that can bring no comfort at times. No reprieve. Why don’t I believe it and shift into it?

What am I?

It is now no longer ME who asks, but the tide’s offerings: empty shells, bits of broken sea life and more sand. The dead demand a memorial.

Yes, that’s it. –

What is it, you ask?

The dead demand memorial. That is my function and that is what I Am.

What, you ask?

I AM “I Remember, I Remember, I remember . . . and you, and you, and you, as well . . . I remember, I remember, I rem…mem…ber… I re….I…..I….I………..”

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

What are you doing?

I’ve been struck by an insight. The reordering of my perception, the constant waves, the memorial, don’t require all of me.

What?

YES! I can give them some of my attention, and I can then, MULTITASK!!

I thought that was a na na ne na noa (no, in Portuguese)?

It’s okay! I can split my focus just a little bit to accommodate the constant barrage of questions and then focus the rest of the attention on the essence of well-being! It is emotionally regulating myself while in action (movement!). I know I will have more time to focus when the needs of my life with family quiets down, so this works in a lovely way!

It’s enough?

More than enough! I am whole! And I don’t have to ask this part of me that I am also observing, this old or young or baked or caked on part of me that the sand must scrub clean to please not ask for my attention! This is huge!

!!!!

This must be what it feels like to finally, grow up. I feel so mature with this insight!

!

Okay, lightening insight, that is it for now.

Sounds like you have shifted your expectations for yourself.

Yes. The sand shifts, I shift, we all shift. This is new feeling. This is new ground or territory, and yet it feels really good. Like an epiphany. Thank you for sharing with me, inquisitive one.

Ah! I Have a name!

Yes, you do.

This is the beginning of a very big adventure.

Yes, it is.

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Moana’s chorus

The gift of having children, is you “get” to visit all sorts of animated shows, and some of the messages are quite stunning, quite deep. Moana review below. Another great children’s animation is “Avatar”. We have watched the three seasons three times already, and own the books and have seen the spin-off . . . et. al . . .

Soundings

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Pexels.com

I confess, I have an earworm for the chorus of Moana’s song “How Far I’ll Go”. Here are the lyrics:

See the line where the sky meets the sea
It calls me
And no one knows how far it goes
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me
One day I’ll know
How far I’ll go

See the light as it shines on the sea
It’s blinding
But no one knows how deep it goes
And it seems like it’s calling out to me
So come find me
And let me know
What’s beyond that line
Will I cross that line

See the line where the sky meets the sea
It calls me
And no one knows how far it goes
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me
One day I’ll know
How far I’ll…

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Eye Witness, installment 2

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Here are the first 8 pages of Eye Witness:

Love,

ME (and you and all . . . ) kathrynsings@kathrynsings

voiceofpresenceohio.com

www.papal.me/voiceofpresence

Eye Witness

What:  a crime has been committed, the death of the spirit of a human being

When: while adjusting to earth

Where:  at the sight of belief

Why:

How:  amnesia

There has been a crime committed.  A body has been found living in the Earth Plane, Milky Way Galaxy, in a solar system on the outer ring of its spiral.   

She is walking around with no idea of her true identity – vulnerable to the beliefs of the mass consciousness around her and oblivious to the gifts that she garners within her spirit’s life which includes but transcends time.  She has allowed her amnesia to become complete, and is, as we speak, among the walking dead.  Her mind is full of fear and self-loathing, and I want to know why. I AM the Eye Witness.

Eye Witness:  played by the Author

Mind:  played by the Author

Council of Elders:  Intuitive guides who support Eye Witness, translated by Author

Heart, the realization of the Self of All – played by the Essence of the All, translated by the Author

The Eye Witness begins speaking:

What we have here is essentially a play in three acts.  The first act is the beginning of the amnesia of a human, the second act is remembering, and the third act, is the improvisatory stage that is created in honor of the first act.  It is to be lived in the time of no-time which cannot be described without considerable effort on our part, so we will leave that bit for later.

What comes to mind is to canvas the murder sight for clues.  To this end we implore you to engage your imaginations and come with us to a world that has no physical bearings whatsoever.  This world is not only dark and formless, it is empty.  What differentiates it from the sort of vacuum or void that it could be imagined here is the fact of its utter stillness, and for lack of a better word, peace. 

A peace that passes understanding is one with no opposite.  No attachment whatsoever to any concept of a polar bearing, while including that concept.  It just is, and that is what makes it the perfect site to plan a murder.

What, you ask?  A murder of the perfection of a peace that is beyond understanding?

Yes, and it is beyond understanding, because it is beyond time, which is synonymous here, with Mind (M).

M. how do you know that?

I don’t know.  I un-know.

M. what do you mean by that?

It reveals itself to me, not through the mind, but that which allows the mind to exist.  It is felt in the gut and traces upwards through the sternum, warming the body as if lit within by a toasty fire on a cold, cold day.

M. revelation, then?

I’ll leave that for you to “understand”.  More on that later.  Back to our murder scene . . .

. . .Where was I?  Oh, yes, utter stillness.  Observing the unfathomable strength and subtlety of this state, which has its roots in indefatigable nothingness without bearing or origin, you are aware of your divine nature – whole, holy and blessed to be a part of that which is nothing or no-thing.  It is the birthplace of contentment since it has no emphasis whatsoever.  And this contentment is without end, endlessly varied, complete and full within itself.  Just writing about it my Heart, or sacred core, responds in recognition.  At the same “time” recognition is expressed, there is a caveat: no one who experiences this depth of benevolence and grace leaves untouched.  Aware of the gift of life, free to partake of the immortal waters of gender-bending system-wide and constant whole-being bliss dialysis, the urge comes to each who knows “what they are” to contribute.

M.  Ah, therein lies the rub.  It’s the old tribal rule:  contribute or die! 

You are not dead, yet, for you have no need of belief.  It is more like, contribute to your own unfoldment and share the gifts of sovereignty with the All, of which you are a microcosm.

M. okay?

In other words, contribute to the unfoldment of All, of which you are, or stay stagnant and atrophy.  And we come to earth, the site of the murder, to learn about choosing.  In the end, or outside of beginnings and endings, the now, we have chosen everything, because we enjoy the way the light refracts through us when we have become aware as a multifaceted bejeweled being.  Diamonds ARE a gal’s best friend, when it means knowing what you are so completely you give over to it.

M: wait, you are saying we are choosing this experience to stretch ourselves so that we can become what we already are?  Where is the fun in that?

Who said anything about fun?  What it is not is fun.  What it can be is an adventure with great seeming peril, which upon closer look is just files after files of fast moving still-shots, that you are shooting and participating in ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

M:  fuck.  And this is impossibly riveting.  Like choosing your own adventure, except we have forgotten we have a choice!!

Precisely.  Well said, mind.  You have a real future, you know?

M:  I do?

Nah, I was just kidding.  You are totally D.O.A. (Dead on Arrival).

M:  very funny.  Are you saying that I am born with the body and therefore die with it?

We aren’t saying anything without our lawyer.  Just kidding.  It’s like you want to know where you originate, correct?  But your origin is without origin since it has no beginning or end and is both existent, non-existent and beyond.  How do you describe a parabola?  It is a curve whose opposite is a straight line.  With straight lines your geometry is limited.  Just add curves and the sky’s the limit!  You have circles and shapes without end and just ask any kid if they prefer playing with sticks or a ball. 

But I digress.

Yes.  Mind, you are limited in your manifest form, and limitation, since it has an opposite, cannot survive on the flat line of non-duality that is your unmanifested nature (which, by the way, feels really good – like that bliss or nirvana that those sages describe – a long constant psychasm). 

M:  so, I throw myself a curveball, in so many words, and now we are calling that a crime?

I’m not calling the curve ball a crime, I am simply an eye witness.  You have called it a crime because of all your pissing and moaning at the outcome of your pitch!

M:  Can we slow down a bit here?

You got it, Muchacho.

M:  muchacho . . . really?

Just playing with you, Man.

M:  okay, long as it isn’t The Man.

Feeling self-conscious?

M. yes, I don’t want to get a bad rap here.

A bad reputation?  For what?  Your utter lack of skill combined with a clumsy trajectory in the face of the unknown?

M.  I thought we were going to slow down?

Just playing with you, M, since you are so fun to play with. 

M.  good to know, I guess.

Yes:  the murder scene.  You are born into a body which you select after determining to leave the Utter stillness of your sacred and holy everlasting and joy-without-reason-presence (to practice choosing for a short-time, according to you may we remind you :).  And the depth of your forgetting is palpable the moment you hit the room, aka pushed and pulled vigorously from the womb.

M.  I just need to take a few moments here and breathe.  Can we pause for a moment?

Take your time. 

Several infinite moments later

M.  I’m grieving.

Tell me all about it.

M.  it just feels like too much.  It’s all just too much.  What is this?  What is this place and why is it so bright and cold and …foreign?

What do you mean by foreign? 

M. what comes to mind (no pun intended) is that everyone is taking me so seriously.  I mean, I like the feeling of being fed, held and so forth, but why is everyone in my face so much?  What do they want from me? 

Oh, you mean your parents? 

M.  is that what you call those things?

Well, it depends.  You see, there are parents, nurses and doctors, siblings, grandparents, cousins, neighbors, the family pet and whatever else is in your environment, in the dual, and polar, plane which is called earth.

M.  yeah, well can they back up and give me some space?  Can I just be for a while?

Oh, you want “To Be” for a while?  Is that it?  Is that why you bothered to make this trip, to take-on this adventure, to be?

M. what do you mean?

Let’s back up.  Remember the moment you decided to come to the earth plane to experience your opposite so that you can know utterly and completely what you are?

M. dimly

Okay, we can start with that:  you did.  Now, are you going to begin complaining about your choice because it seems difficult at this moment?

M.  yes and no.

You sound like an earthling already!

M. fuck you!

Yeah, I get that a lot.  No worries, you have got to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to have some anger about the spot you appear to be in.  And I stress “appear.”

M.  okay, if I go forward with this, If I decide to not back out of this agreement I’ve made and I believe that I will know what kind of options I have here, what is in it for me?

You may not be able to see this for a while, Mind, and you’re going to have to go through some ugly shit, I’m not gonna lie.  I will remind you that you knew that it could get rough here sometimes and that it ain’t always pretty – or a bed of roses, to say the least.

M. I just wish I could remember right from the go that I am making these choices, that I have choices.

Yeah, I get that.  But that is not this time around.  You need to feel yourself from the inside, and carve your life from that vantage point, even though you are coerced, ahem, to say the least, into living according to the dictates around you. 

You have asked, if you will remember, to strengthen yourself in this way, with this cast of characters, at this apparent time and place so that you will know.

M.  know what?

Know what you are and what you aren’t. 

M.  please, continue.  Say more.  I’m desperate.

It cannot be too deep beneath the surface of your memory, as this is not your first rodeo.  But settle into yourself and feel.  Where do you feel yourself, your identity, your being?

M.  in the body?  It emanates from the center. Around the heart.

Oh, I love that word! Emanation!  That is fine.  You know that you are a beat that keeps on beating, a pulse, a vibration, contraction and expansion.  These can all be synonyms for emanation.

M.  yes, I know.

How do you know again?

M. well, I feel it and it feels good, it feels familiar, it feels home.

What about when what you are emanating does not feel good?

M. what do you mean?

When you feel pain or fear or confusion.

M. that doesn’t feel like me.

Then what is it?

M. it is me looking for me.

Ah!  Look carefully at your wording: “me looking for me”.

M.  what is that?

It is a state.

M.  what?

It is a state of being – just as when you are emanating what feels good, familiar and home, as you “stated” earlier.

M. I said that?

Take a moment and look.  Let’s review again, shall we?

M. okay.  I feel like a little kid.

Well, we are just beginning this adventure, and you are watching with me from the beginning.

M. like going back in time in our mind?

More on that later, I promise.  But let’s review our conversation from a few moments ago.

M. okay.

I asked you where you felt your being and you said from the inside, in the center, as a vibration.  And that it felt good.

M. yes, it feels good.

Yes, it does.  You are in coherency.  You are aligned with the what of you and are riveted to that and nothing else.

Pause.

When you emanate from a place of fear and chaos, you are also “you” – a vibration that you describe as “me looking for me” – which is the opposite of coherency.  The opposite of coherency is called incoherency.

M.  what is that? 

Coherency is like the sin wave:  all of the crests and troughs of a wave are equal in distance, and phase is constant.  Like this photo that I found for free on the web:

Wavelength and amplitude are the same and are utilizing the same source of data and are in alignment.

M.  are we going to math now?  You know I was not so good at that.

We do not have to use a math example.  It is not important.  What is important is you recognize how it feels when you are in its state:  calm, focused, happy, centered and so on. For example, if you think about that dog that you were petting yesterday – remember you began to enter a zone with the animal?  Petting the dog was calming to you – touching the fur and seeing the dog respond to your interest and stimulation with a roll onto its back, exposing its belly. . .

M. oh yes, I love to be around animals.  And that room was chaotic where we were picking up my child from a birthday party.

Yes.  And now we are revealing that Eye Witness and Mind are one and the same.

M.  are we getting ahead of ourselves?

What do you mean?  Still believing in time?  Ha!  I know, that’s a joke.  We will bounce around quite a bit here, “we” being the operative word, though it is all one.

M.  when I am feeling coherent, as the diagram demonstrates, the wavelength and amplitude are equidistant within a given distance (is that called phase?)

Ah!  Look who is revealing their education.  Where did you study?

M. meta You – a metaphysical university course written by Dr. Toni Petrinovich.

Have you studied heart-math?

M. no, just read about it.

Eye Witness

A note to my reader: I will be publishing this book in installments here on my blog. Please feel free to comment in any way you can through wordpress, if you have an account, my email (kathrynsings@yahoo.com), or, if you read this on facebook, private message me. I look forward to your comments, criticisms, suggestions, and question.

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Eye Witness

Photo by Wings Of Freedom on Pexels.com

What:  a crime has been committed, the death of the spirit of a human being

When: while adjusting to earth

Where:  at the sight of belief

Why:

How:  amnesia

There has been a crime committed.  A body has been found living in the Earth Plane, Milky Way Galaxy, in a solar system on the outer ring of its spiral.   

She is walking around with no idea of her true identity – vulnerable to the beliefs of the mass consciousness around her and oblivious to the gifts that she garners within her spirit’s life which includes but transcends time.  She has allowed her amnesia to become complete, and is, as we speak, among the walking dead.  Her mind is full of fear and self-loathing, and I want to know why. I AM the Eye Witness.

Eye Witness:  played by the Author

Mind:  played by the Author

Council of Elders:  Intuitive guides who support Eye Witness, translated by Author

Heart, the realization of the Self of All – played by the Essence of the All, translated by the Author

The Eye Witness begins speaking:

What we have here is essentially a play in three acts.  The first act is the beginning of the amnesia of a human, the second act is remembering, and the third act, is the improvisatory stage that is created in honor of the first act.  It is to be lived in the time of no-time which cannot be described without considerable effort on our part, so we will leave that bit for later.

What comes to mind is to canvas the murder sight for clues.  To this end we implore you to engage your imaginations and come with us to a world that has no physical bearings whatsoever.  This world is not only dark and formless, it is empty.  What differentiates it from the sort of vacuum or void that it could be imagined here is the fact of its utter stillness, and for lack of a better word, peace. 

A peace that passes understanding is one with no opposite.  No attachment whatsoever to any concept of a polar bearing, while including that concept.  It just is, and that is what makes it the perfect site to plan a murder.

What, you ask?  A murder of the perfection of a peace that is beyond understanding?

Yes, and it is beyond understanding, because it is beyond time, which is synonymous here, with Mind (M).

M. how do you know that?

I don’t know.  I un-know.

M. what do you mean by that?

It reveals itself to me, not through the mind, but that which allows the mind to exist.  It is felt in the gut and traces upwards through the sternum, warming the body as if lit within by a toasty fire on a cold, cold day.

M. revelation, then?

I’ll leave that for you to “understand”.  More on that later.  Back to our murder scene . . .

. . .Where was I?  Oh, yes, utter stillness.  Observing the unfathomable strength and subtlety of this state, which has its roots in indefatigable nothingness without bearing or origin, you are aware of your divine nature – whole, holy and blessed to be a part of that which is nothing or no-thing.  It is the birthplace of contentment since it has no emphasis whatsoever.  And this contentment is without end, endlessly varied, complete and full within itself.  Just writing about it my Heart, or sacred core, responds in recognition.  At the same “time” recognition is expressed, there is a caveat: no one who experiences this depth of benevolence and grace leaves untouched.  Aware of the gift of life, free to partake of the immortal waters of gender-bending system-wide and constant whole-being bliss dialysis, the urge comes to each who knows “what they are” to contribute.

M.  Ah, therein lies the rub.  It’s the old tribal rule:  contribute or die! 

You are not dead, yet, for you have no need of belief.  It is more like, contribute to your own unfoldment and share the gifts of sovereignty with the All, of which you are a microcosm.

M. What the What?

In other words, contribute to the unfoldment of All, of which you are, or stay stagnant and atrophy.  And we come to earth, the site of the murder, to learn about choosing.  In the end, or outside of beginnings and endings, the now, we have chosen everything, because we enjoy the way the light refracts through us when we have become aware as a multifaceted bejeweled being.  Diamonds ARE a gal’s best friend, when it means knowing what you are so completely you give over to it.

M: wait, you are saying we are choosing this experience to stretch ourselves so that we can become what we already are?  Where is the fun in that?

Who said anything about fun?  What it is not is fun.  What it can be is an adventure with great seeming peril, which upon closer look is just files after files of fast moving still-shots, that you are shooting and participating in ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

M:  fuck.  And this is impossibly riveting.  Like choosing your own adventure, except we have forgotten we have a choice!!

Precisely.  Well said, mind.  You have a real future, you know?

M:  I do?

Nah, I was just kidding.  You are totally D.O.A. (Dead on Arrival).

M:  very funny.  Are you saying that I am born with the body and therefore die with it?

We aren’t saying anything without our lawyer.  Just kidding.  It’s like you want to know where you originate, correct?  But your origin is without origin since it has no beginning or end and is both existent, non-existent and beyond.  How do you describe a parabola?  It is a curve whose opposite is a straight line.  With straight lines your geometry is limited.  Just add curves and the sky’s the limit!  You have circles and shapes without end and just ask any kid if they prefer playing with sticks or a ball. 

But I digress.

Yes.  Mind, you are limited in your manifest form, and limitation, since it has an opposite, cannot survive on the flat line of non-duality that is your unmanifested nature (which, by the way, feels really good – like that bliss or nirvana that those sages describe – a long constant psychasm). 

M:  so, I throw myself a curveball, in so many words, and now we are calling that a crime?

I’m not calling the curve ball a crime, I am simply an eye witness.  You have called it a crime because of all your pissing and moaning at the outcome of your pitch!

M:  Can we slow down a bit here?

You got it, Muchacho.

MORE TO COME!

Life’s Markers

starry night by Lizzie Teixeira, age 6

It is my 47th birthday tomorrow, and many people will wish me happy birthday. There is an icecream cake in the freezer that my daughter helped my husband pick out, and a bright, flashy candle waiting to adorn it. What will I wish when it is time to “blow out the candles?”

What do you wish for when you intuit you already have everything, are everything?

When I began requesting of myself my own wisdom in my 20’s, the prayer was sincere and deep. In my thirties, the prayer was for peace. I made peace my goal. Becoming enamored with this goal led me to so many experiences through which to realize this peace. Having and holding a family, expressing creativity, taking classes that underscored my true nature being a few. Lots of obstacles and lots of stumbling and lots of rising. Lots and lots of rising.

My forties have ushered in the fear of mortality and the generation of immortality projects such as writing and singing, making a business out of my personality’s inclinations. Rich territory, and lots of growth.

This beautiful turn around the sun has me reflecting that Life, as it is, is enough. As a playwright, I watch the scenes unfold, allowing all of what I have learned about the creation of perception to guide. It is such a rich and full place to be. It is enough. It is more than enough. Will I ever feel differently?

I don’t know, and that is part of the adventure. How will I navigate this next year? What is my compass and north star? I feel that my being is its own compass, its own north star, since it is not a time-bound experience of life. Releasing the beliefs in shame and inadequacy have gone a long way in allowing the simple profundity of life – the depth and richness of moments’ awareness to be experienced. Birthing life? Maybe.

I watch others birth their lives. Each a different story, different guiding principles, a different emotional palette. Their way of birthing is no more right or wrong than mine. I can learn from all of them. From all of you. My birthday prayer is not to bless the world at this moment or to offer it well-wishes, although I do, always. My birthday prayer is to respect and enjoy it as it is. To respect and enjoy you as you are, with no need to change you, to have you believe or think as I do, and to see the colorful way your life displays as a temporary kaleidoscope of exotic, or mute, or even drab colors. What do I know of this? That choice is involved at some level, and that is enough for me. My ability to choose is a gift of the ages, as I’ve come to see it at this moment. And the arena, even as I sit here and type, is thrillingly infinite, such that I will never be bored, and am often amused.

That’s it.

Happy Birthday of the awareness of 1)awareness and 2)choice.

May we all be blessed by the birth of these awesome attributes in our hearts and minds.

Love,

The One called Kathryn, who sings, among other things.

kathrynsings@yahoo.com