What was he doing there?
Why would he show up on this side of town?
Why would he use that computer, here, with us, who are not his kind?
What does he represent? Why is he here?
He could go anywhere. I don’t understand.
Where did he come from? How long will he stay?
What is his purpose? For what does he search online, here with me, with her, with us?
Am I safe in his presence? Will I be judged? Seen as less than, more than?
Will I be seen?
Will he see me?
Will I see him?
What stands in the way?
Can I be myself, with him here? At least the self I am used to being?
I really don’t want to concentrate this hard. I want to move on from this.
Can I be honest with you? I want to see you as a category.
I want to see you in some sort of role. Your presence unnerves me. Does my presence unnerve you?
What can be said, understood?
There is benevolence here? You will play a role in my mind so I can get back to the task at hand?
I will cast you in a benevolent role. It is suiting to both of us.
Harmless. You are harmless because you are like the person who played this role. My mind can relax now. I have done enough gymnastics to accommodate your presence, for now. Please play this role so I don’t have to think about what you could mean to me. Stay in your lane, please.
See? That wasn’t hard. You did it! Now, where was I before your presence interrupted. Ah. . . .now I can go back to being myself. I can be comfortable being myself again.
And, please, don’t come back here. It is tolerable for now, but this is not your territory.