NO more Masks

Soul Portrait by author, 2016

This painting took me very little time. The year was 2016, and I had a blank white canvas, literally, and I wanted to honor the journey ahead by filling it with color and flow born of intuition. It is a portrait of my 2016 journey that is now hanging on my wall in my collection at home.

The markings at the top of the painting remind me of Grouch Marx. He is a famous comedian who has many quips to his credit, including “I do not want to belong to any group that would have me as its member” as well as “Before I speak, I have something important to say”.

His iconic eyes and glasses and mustache are often the party favor of choice for April fools day or any sort of mockery of seriousness.

Groucho Marx glasses

Every time I remember to see my Groucho Marx painting, I am encouraged to take it all – not so seriously.

Sometimes, an intermediary step is that of the cynic, defined by google search, here:

“1.

a person who believes that people are motivated purely by self-interest rather than acting for honorable or unselfish reasons.

“some cynics thought that the controversy was all a publicity stunt”

  • a person who questions whether something will happen or whether it is worthwhile.”the cynics were silenced when the factory opened” Similar:skeptic

doubter

doubting Thomas

scoffer

pessimist

prophet of doom

doom merchant

doom and gloom merchant

doomster

doomsayer

doom-monger

doomwatcher

Cassandra

Opposite:

idealist

  • optimist

2.

a member of a school of ancient Greek philosophers founded by Antisthenes, marked by an ostentatious contempt for ease and pleasure. The movement flourished in the 3rd century BC and revived in the 1st century AD.”

The cynic is not a landing spot, though, since s/he, too, cannot help but be affected by the expression of doubt. I see it as a thorn that helps out another thorn from where it is lodged beneath the skin, only to discard both: pomp and doubt.

So, for me, it is a step given to me towards the middle way, the middle road. It takes both feet to walk the middle way – neither the “right” of the high road nor the left of the low road, with all of the connotations contained therein.

My dear friend and mentor since my babies were born talks about embracing both sides of duality. At first glance, there is a desire to scoff. At second glance, I see sanity, and at third glance, I embrace it as inevitable.

That doesn’t mean I take it all seriously, but that I hold on for the ride, since it is all going to pass! So I let go into the ride because it is all me.

Where does Love come in?

Love is. It is what shines forth when the opposites the duality’s of life are not judged or discarded, but understood within a larger picture. It often means that I am the most comfortable fading into the background of apparent life into my awareness, often.

I am teaching myself and feeling my way, letting life teach me and opening my heart and my mind. Trusting. It is really important to me and also It is not “me” or all up to me, since what I am, and it is a what, is an awareness. Primarily awareness, secondarily a consciousness.

It is full-circle, for me, since I wanted to be in the limelight for so long – to know that I was good enough. To feel that I am loved and liked and appreciated for my gifts.

Now I can put on my Groucho Marx glasses at my pomp and circumstance, cigar in mouth, and laugh at it all. I can fade into the background like the birds and trees which need neither to be inflated nor deflated: simple. Simple gifts simply realized and lived.

My goal is to judge less, with the inner Judge to lead the way (the judge of beingness (Just added this to the dictionary) which does not judge but understands, as in: I Am the “way, truth and life” ~ there is no obstruction here, but allowance, like a river without eddies – or a hamster habitat free from hamster wheels and with plenty of rooms exits, trap doors seen etcetera, or karma seen as a sweet moment of reconciliation and remembrance, offered gladly to the heart, since all is ephemeral wisps of though, at the most, in the end et. al).

Thank you for Listening.

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