First of all, after writing my last post, a grace alighted my mind upon awakening this morning. I thought and truly felt “all is well” and the literal thought was (and it was also a feeling state, simultaneously) “they are doing the best they can”. When you feel this way, all bets are off since you can side with this realization. You can choose it, cultivate it, reward it and even “fake it till you make it”. The best is when it comes up naturally, as a fount of compassion inseparable from your own understanding. I’ll take it! And, I’ll vow it. Grace and grit, as they say.
Continuing, the definition of Consolidate is to make something stronger or to combine two or more things to make a more coherent whole (courtesy of google and Oxford online definitions).
The sort of consolidation in consideration for today is a continuation of yesterday’s conversation. That is a lot of c’s!
Alliteration aside (ha!), the learning presented to me today took the form of an insight that is most easily shared as a sort of dialogue. In this dialogue, the sense of the immoveable, immutable, ever-present self is regarded by the personality. There is a sort of irritation, as in (and this is at the level of the personality)- “how can you remain so unmoved, so still, so transcendent and pure and unaffected by what appears to be happening in the world (of form)?” and the response from the transcendent self is (and this is felt) “how can you imagine that you can be defined by all of this movement and change?”
The changeful (personality) seemed to have resentment for the inability of the self to be touched by change, and the self appeared incredulous but without judgment towards “that which change’s” ability to identify with the rise and fall of things, the phenomena.
With this conversation, an activation was, well, enacted which is the literal light that is generated by these two aspects coming into consolidation. The coherent whole that the two (or more things) are combining to make more “effective” is not clear to me, since the wholeness seems to be a mute point of the unmanifest reality. I hear my mind offering “This is where the phrase “God in form” comes from. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that the origin is being enhanced. Source, God or Universe or Christ or the Unnamable or the Unspeakable/Unimaginable ~ that which IS and is the ultimate Teacher/Teaching comes through this tiny portal of changefulness . . . why?
I fear this question is unanswerable, but I hope, no I trust that it is livable. It may be that the reason is as unknowable as the unknown. Yet when I recall what my teachers have said about “release” as in “just release yourself. Release your gifts”, there is a mighty mighty pause, now.
Yes, I can no longer pass by this instruction casually. There has been a consolidation with regards to this idea and the idea that we permeate the world, a perfume of sorts, with our expression, our essence. When something is released, it is (thank you Google/Oxford) allowed to flow freely. Perfume is “a fragrant liquid typically made from essential oils extracted from flowers and spices, used to impart a pleasant smell to one’s body or clothes.”
If you allow your essence to flow freely, it is a different feeling state. It has no default mechanism because it is self-referential, and self is ever present as I AM being state, which is not automatic but responsive. Think of the call and response of the breath. It is no longer emotional, then, since it is not in reaction because it does not base its existence solely on the stream of thoughts.
Is this what is meant, then by coming to terms with being prior? If we exist before the being-ness, then we are prior to any thought at all – thoughts being concepts. Then, accepting the unmanifest consciously, through a mind that doesn’t understand it but can no longer deny its appearance and even grows curious and submissive to its magnetism, asking “how can you remain unmoved?” and hearing “how can you remain identified?” This mind that has come to accept that it comes second now enacts this acceptance through releasing it, like perfume, into the environment. Though it may be a bit mechanical at first, the mind is curious and open to what it has been allowed to be a part of, to witness, and is willing to continually release any resistance, and further, to continually release the sense of self everywhere everywhere. Does the evidence mount for the mind (for self needs it not) that the peace that paces and that passes understanding will be shared with itself while enacting this release? Stay tuned for more! We are just beginning!
Loving you, from my essence,
She who loves and serves.
Let’s have coffee!
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