I am writing to consolidate my thoughts for today and to allow what has been learned to marinate or percolate, offering continuous insight. This conversation, this writing is not casual. It is not dinner-topic conversation.
I offer that I come here, to earth, to learn about forgiveness. To learn that there is only one, here, and that we all share this unity which is the opposite of fear. Somehow, I am graced to understand that our destiny is intertwined: my freedom is wrapped up in yours and yours in mine. It is a condition of one-ness and also, it is one of the laws we are not taught about in school. Yet, because of this unity, how I think of you applies to me, because we are one.
In that way is all forgiveness self-forgiveness, and in that way all judgement is self-judgement ~ hence, judgement loses not only its allure, but its entire viability!
I judge when I think I know better than God. It is an act of arrogance, in that I stamp a person or event as unworthy of love. I do this because I think that what I am seeing is real or permanent or something besides an energetic exchange that I am only observing from my own repository of experience. And, I don’t get to choose to feel better or superior than that which I am judging, since I do not know us as apart. We are one at the deepest level, whether we admit it or not. It has become painful, thus, to judge.
What is the alternative? This is a great question. To ask is to be willing to see things differently. It also means that you see as the one-ness, which is all-one, or “alone”. This is the kind of alone-ness you want to cultivate a delicious taste for. It is something that is exquisite and subtle and puts you in the observer – which is another aspect of one-ness that is not praised enough. That is because if we were all observing our lives, there would be little need to buy into anything, hence our commercial education goes to the waste-basket, somewhat. All of this is to say, there is no right and wrong or black and white unless you declare it so, and there is no lack of the propensity to declare it: it is encouraged by all but a rare few who are established in the observer and then have discovered the peace of everlasting being without name.
This is the goal, the prize, and it is “eyes on the prize”, when you want to be peaceful. When I want to be peaceful. We are one, and our peace is wrapped up within one another. I know this post is a bit reductionist and there are many things not considered and mentioned here that could expand on these ideas, or provide more clarity. It is what it is. I am where I am.
Today, when I found myself in a judgment of my partner, I thought “I am educating him” for I knew “his action is misguided”. Yet who am I to say? It is tricky when you are parenting children, for everyone brings their conditioning to the table as well as their hopes for their progeny. It is a vast mirror for reflection and contemplation and an awesome opportunity for freedom. Simply put, I did not want to meet dear love where he was. I did not want to observe that I was judging his actions or see it from my limited perspective as “a call for love” – for isn’t even that a judgement? If I want to be free, and I do, I have to look at this differently. I can honestly say “I don’t know how to see this” to myself, if that is true, and remind myself of this being-ness – this I Am identity that is not a person with a label of “mother” or even “good parent” or “bad parent”. Not even “parent”. For to see this being as a “child” is also a label, is it not? Is it not a judgement upon the pureness of awareness? I denigrate the very people I am trying to protect. What of that really needs protecting? And I am not talking about corporeal punishment or hitting or anything like that.
Why can I feel sorry for anyone caught in the mind’s frustrations with living when that is not who they are, essentially or eternally? I imprison myself if I do. Does this mean I am silent? Yes it does. For a time. It also means I speak when it comes from well-baked considerations. Who but the bravest of us would come to earth to experience all of this? Continuing . . .
This is uncommon viewpoint to the extreme. This is not viewpoint but vision. And I don’t claim to always see with it, yet it touches me when I do. It is practical, simple and saves time and emotion – hence energy.
So, this is why I incarnated into this earth. As most children, I “became” (in quotes because I am not in the past) attached to my labels and then of course felt the need to defend them. This is what it is to be a child. When will I grow up? In deep sleep!
Then I am free from identity and confusion! That can be enacted now, though, with a claim to emptiness – letting go of everything you think you are. This is like the breath emptying out moment to moment. It has appeal, doesn’t it? It does to me! I become sensitive to suffering – not just physical, psychological or something, but spiritual. It hurts to reduce the spirit to a body. It becomes untenable, after a while and this is great news. And you come to this awareness alone. No one can do it for you and enact your life in the way you want to for yourself. It is your life. It is you alone, though many walk beside, oh yes! Teachers come and teachings and life becomes Teacher, too. Sensitivity helps to develop discernment which is awesome power. It is the difference between a life lived in obscure thoughts, feelings and actions and clarity, heartfulness and even gratitude and allowance. What an awesome journey and what a way to spend an incarnation.
Writing becomes moot after a while, since my words are not really mine. They are borrowed in ideas, concepts and then stamped with my experience. All of this will become unnecessary for me and you as we allow ourselves to crack the egg of sleepiness and peak out “peep” “peep” at the real world, resting and growing strong so as to leap and take flight. All in good time, said timelessness itself.