The waves of the unknown crash against the sandy shores of my perception. Choice, always choice.
What am I? Until I answer, the waves crash. Emphatically, I ignore the question.
The waves continue. Yet my perception, though reordered with each campaign and retreat, clings to the habitual, the familiar.
Scrubbed over and over, the motion, abrasion, sheers me. The sand eats the water eats the sand.
What am I?
The question echoes, it awakens me to my desperation.
Yet, still, I cling to what is unmoored, shifting, endlessly rocked.
Do I go with the motion? Yes, sometimes.
OF course I am not the waves or the sand. I am the witness, yet that can bring no comfort at times. No reprieve. Why don’t I believe it and shift into it?
What am I?
It is now no longer ME who asks, but the tide’s offerings: empty shells, bits of broken sea life and more sand. The dead demand a memorial.
Yes, that’s it. –
What is it, you ask?
The dead demand memorial. That is my function and that is what I Am.
What, you ask?
I AM “I Remember, I Remember, I remember . . . and you, and you, and you, as well . . . I remember, I remember, I rem…mem…ber… I re….I…..I….I………..”
What are you doing?
I’ve been struck by an insight. The reordering of my perception, the constant waves, the memorial, don’t require all of me.
YES! I can give them some of my attention, and I can then, MULTITASK!!
I thought that was a na na ne na noa (no, in Portuguese)?
It’s okay! I can split my focus just a little bit to accommodate the constant barrage of questions and then focus the rest of the attention on the essence of well-being! It is emotionally regulating myself while in action (movement!). I know I will have more time to focus when the needs of my life with family quiets down, so this works in a lovely way!
More than enough! I am whole! And I don’t have to ask this part of me that I am also observing, this old or young or baked or caked on part of me that the sand must scrub clean to please not ask for my attention! This is huge!
This must be what it feels like to finally, grow up. I feel so mature with this insight!
Okay, lightening insight, that is it for now.
Sounds like you have shifted your expectations for yourself.
Yes. The sand shifts, I shift, we all shift. This is new feeling. This is new ground or territory, and yet it feels really good. Like an epiphany. Thank you for sharing with me, inquisitive one.
Ah! I Have a name!
Yes, you do.
This is the beginning of a very big adventure.
Yes, it is.