Sandy shores

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The waves of the unknown crash against the sandy shores of my perception. Choice, always choice.

What am I? Until I answer, the waves crash. Emphatically, I ignore the question.

The waves continue. Yet my perception, though reordered with each campaign and retreat, clings to the habitual, the familiar.

Scrubbed over and over, the motion, abrasion, sheers me. The sand eats the water eats the sand.

What am I?

The question echoes, it awakens me to my desperation.

Yet, still, I cling to what is unmoored, shifting, endlessly rocked.

Do I go with the motion? Yes, sometimes.

OF course I am not the waves or the sand. I am the witness, yet that can bring no comfort at times. No reprieve. Why don’t I believe it and shift into it?

What am I?

It is now no longer ME who asks, but the tide’s offerings: empty shells, bits of broken sea life and more sand. The dead demand a memorial.

Yes, that’s it. –

What is it, you ask?

The dead demand memorial. That is my function and that is what I Am.

What, you ask?

I AM “I Remember, I Remember, I remember . . . and you, and you, and you, as well . . . I remember, I remember, I rem…mem…ber… I re….I…..I….I………..”

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What are you doing?

I’ve been struck by an insight. The reordering of my perception, the constant waves, the memorial, don’t require all of me.

What?

YES! I can give them some of my attention, and I can then, MULTITASK!!

I thought that was a na na ne na noa (no, in Portuguese)?

It’s okay! I can split my focus just a little bit to accommodate the constant barrage of questions and then focus the rest of the attention on the essence of well-being! It is emotionally regulating myself while in action (movement!). I know I will have more time to focus when the needs of my life with family quiets down, so this works in a lovely way!

It’s enough?

More than enough! I am whole! And I don’t have to ask this part of me that I am also observing, this old or young or baked or caked on part of me that the sand must scrub clean to please not ask for my attention! This is huge!

!!!!

This must be what it feels like to finally, grow up. I feel so mature with this insight!

!

Okay, lightening insight, that is it for now.

Sounds like you have shifted your expectations for yourself.

Yes. The sand shifts, I shift, we all shift. This is new feeling. This is new ground or territory, and yet it feels really good. Like an epiphany. Thank you for sharing with me, inquisitive one.

Ah! I Have a name!

Yes, you do.

This is the beginning of a very big adventure.

Yes, it is.

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Moana’s chorus

The gift of having children, is you “get” to visit all sorts of animated shows, and some of the messages are quite stunning, quite deep. Moana review below. Another great children’s animation is “Avatar”. We have watched the three seasons three times already, and own the books and have seen the spin-off . . . et. al . . .

Soundings

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I confess, I have an earworm for the chorus of Moana’s song “How Far I’ll Go”. Here are the lyrics:

See the line where the sky meets the sea
It calls me
And no one knows how far it goes
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me
One day I’ll know
How far I’ll go

See the light as it shines on the sea
It’s blinding
But no one knows how deep it goes
And it seems like it’s calling out to me
So come find me
And let me know
What’s beyond that line
Will I cross that line

See the line where the sky meets the sea
It calls me
And no one knows how far it goes
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me
One day I’ll know
How far I’ll…

View original post 477 more words

Eye Witness, installment 2

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Here are the first 8 pages of Eye Witness:

Love,

ME (and you and all . . . ) kathrynsings@kathrynsings

voiceofpresenceohio.com

www.papal.me/voiceofpresence

Eye Witness

What:  a crime has been committed, the death of the spirit of a human being

When: while adjusting to earth

Where:  at the sight of belief

Why:

How:  amnesia

There has been a crime committed.  A body has been found living in the Earth Plane, Milky Way Galaxy, in a solar system on the outer ring of its spiral.   

She is walking around with no idea of her true identity – vulnerable to the beliefs of the mass consciousness around her and oblivious to the gifts that she garners within her spirit’s life which includes but transcends time.  She has allowed her amnesia to become complete, and is, as we speak, among the walking dead.  Her mind is full of fear and self-loathing, and I want to know why. I AM the Eye Witness.

Eye Witness:  played by the Author

Mind:  played by the Author

Council of Elders:  Intuitive guides who support Eye Witness, translated by Author

Heart, the realization of the Self of All – played by the Essence of the All, translated by the Author

The Eye Witness begins speaking:

What we have here is essentially a play in three acts.  The first act is the beginning of the amnesia of a human, the second act is remembering, and the third act, is the improvisatory stage that is created in honor of the first act.  It is to be lived in the time of no-time which cannot be described without considerable effort on our part, so we will leave that bit for later.

What comes to mind is to canvas the murder sight for clues.  To this end we implore you to engage your imaginations and come with us to a world that has no physical bearings whatsoever.  This world is not only dark and formless, it is empty.  What differentiates it from the sort of vacuum or void that it could be imagined here is the fact of its utter stillness, and for lack of a better word, peace. 

A peace that passes understanding is one with no opposite.  No attachment whatsoever to any concept of a polar bearing, while including that concept.  It just is, and that is what makes it the perfect site to plan a murder.

What, you ask?  A murder of the perfection of a peace that is beyond understanding?

Yes, and it is beyond understanding, because it is beyond time, which is synonymous here, with Mind (M).

M. how do you know that?

I don’t know.  I un-know.

M. what do you mean by that?

It reveals itself to me, not through the mind, but that which allows the mind to exist.  It is felt in the gut and traces upwards through the sternum, warming the body as if lit within by a toasty fire on a cold, cold day.

M. revelation, then?

I’ll leave that for you to “understand”.  More on that later.  Back to our murder scene . . .

. . .Where was I?  Oh, yes, utter stillness.  Observing the unfathomable strength and subtlety of this state, which has its roots in indefatigable nothingness without bearing or origin, you are aware of your divine nature – whole, holy and blessed to be a part of that which is nothing or no-thing.  It is the birthplace of contentment since it has no emphasis whatsoever.  And this contentment is without end, endlessly varied, complete and full within itself.  Just writing about it my Heart, or sacred core, responds in recognition.  At the same “time” recognition is expressed, there is a caveat: no one who experiences this depth of benevolence and grace leaves untouched.  Aware of the gift of life, free to partake of the immortal waters of gender-bending system-wide and constant whole-being bliss dialysis, the urge comes to each who knows “what they are” to contribute.

M.  Ah, therein lies the rub.  It’s the old tribal rule:  contribute or die! 

You are not dead, yet, for you have no need of belief.  It is more like, contribute to your own unfoldment and share the gifts of sovereignty with the All, of which you are a microcosm.

M. okay?

In other words, contribute to the unfoldment of All, of which you are, or stay stagnant and atrophy.  And we come to earth, the site of the murder, to learn about choosing.  In the end, or outside of beginnings and endings, the now, we have chosen everything, because we enjoy the way the light refracts through us when we have become aware as a multifaceted bejeweled being.  Diamonds ARE a gal’s best friend, when it means knowing what you are so completely you give over to it.

M: wait, you are saying we are choosing this experience to stretch ourselves so that we can become what we already are?  Where is the fun in that?

Who said anything about fun?  What it is not is fun.  What it can be is an adventure with great seeming peril, which upon closer look is just files after files of fast moving still-shots, that you are shooting and participating in ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

M:  fuck.  And this is impossibly riveting.  Like choosing your own adventure, except we have forgotten we have a choice!!

Precisely.  Well said, mind.  You have a real future, you know?

M:  I do?

Nah, I was just kidding.  You are totally D.O.A. (Dead on Arrival).

M:  very funny.  Are you saying that I am born with the body and therefore die with it?

We aren’t saying anything without our lawyer.  Just kidding.  It’s like you want to know where you originate, correct?  But your origin is without origin since it has no beginning or end and is both existent, non-existent and beyond.  How do you describe a parabola?  It is a curve whose opposite is a straight line.  With straight lines your geometry is limited.  Just add curves and the sky’s the limit!  You have circles and shapes without end and just ask any kid if they prefer playing with sticks or a ball. 

But I digress.

Yes.  Mind, you are limited in your manifest form, and limitation, since it has an opposite, cannot survive on the flat line of non-duality that is your unmanifested nature (which, by the way, feels really good – like that bliss or nirvana that those sages describe – a long constant psychasm). 

M:  so, I throw myself a curveball, in so many words, and now we are calling that a crime?

I’m not calling the curve ball a crime, I am simply an eye witness.  You have called it a crime because of all your pissing and moaning at the outcome of your pitch!

M:  Can we slow down a bit here?

You got it, Muchacho.

M:  muchacho . . . really?

Just playing with you, Man.

M:  okay, long as it isn’t The Man.

Feeling self-conscious?

M. yes, I don’t want to get a bad rap here.

A bad reputation?  For what?  Your utter lack of skill combined with a clumsy trajectory in the face of the unknown?

M.  I thought we were going to slow down?

Just playing with you, M, since you are so fun to play with. 

M.  good to know, I guess.

Yes:  the murder scene.  You are born into a body which you select after determining to leave the Utter stillness of your sacred and holy everlasting and joy-without-reason-presence (to practice choosing for a short-time, according to you may we remind you :).  And the depth of your forgetting is palpable the moment you hit the room, aka pushed and pulled vigorously from the womb.

M.  I just need to take a few moments here and breathe.  Can we pause for a moment?

Take your time. 

Several infinite moments later

M.  I’m grieving.

Tell me all about it.

M.  it just feels like too much.  It’s all just too much.  What is this?  What is this place and why is it so bright and cold and …foreign?

What do you mean by foreign? 

M. what comes to mind (no pun intended) is that everyone is taking me so seriously.  I mean, I like the feeling of being fed, held and so forth, but why is everyone in my face so much?  What do they want from me? 

Oh, you mean your parents? 

M.  is that what you call those things?

Well, it depends.  You see, there are parents, nurses and doctors, siblings, grandparents, cousins, neighbors, the family pet and whatever else is in your environment, in the dual, and polar, plane which is called earth.

M.  yeah, well can they back up and give me some space?  Can I just be for a while?

Oh, you want “To Be” for a while?  Is that it?  Is that why you bothered to make this trip, to take-on this adventure, to be?

M. what do you mean?

Let’s back up.  Remember the moment you decided to come to the earth plane to experience your opposite so that you can know utterly and completely what you are?

M. dimly

Okay, we can start with that:  you did.  Now, are you going to begin complaining about your choice because it seems difficult at this moment?

M.  yes and no.

You sound like an earthling already!

M. fuck you!

Yeah, I get that a lot.  No worries, you have got to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to have some anger about the spot you appear to be in.  And I stress “appear.”

M.  okay, if I go forward with this, If I decide to not back out of this agreement I’ve made and I believe that I will know what kind of options I have here, what is in it for me?

You may not be able to see this for a while, Mind, and you’re going to have to go through some ugly shit, I’m not gonna lie.  I will remind you that you knew that it could get rough here sometimes and that it ain’t always pretty – or a bed of roses, to say the least.

M. I just wish I could remember right from the go that I am making these choices, that I have choices.

Yeah, I get that.  But that is not this time around.  You need to feel yourself from the inside, and carve your life from that vantage point, even though you are coerced, ahem, to say the least, into living according to the dictates around you. 

You have asked, if you will remember, to strengthen yourself in this way, with this cast of characters, at this apparent time and place so that you will know.

M.  know what?

Know what you are and what you aren’t. 

M.  please, continue.  Say more.  I’m desperate.

It cannot be too deep beneath the surface of your memory, as this is not your first rodeo.  But settle into yourself and feel.  Where do you feel yourself, your identity, your being?

M.  in the body?  It emanates from the center. Around the heart.

Oh, I love that word! Emanation!  That is fine.  You know that you are a beat that keeps on beating, a pulse, a vibration, contraction and expansion.  These can all be synonyms for emanation.

M.  yes, I know.

How do you know again?

M. well, I feel it and it feels good, it feels familiar, it feels home.

What about when what you are emanating does not feel good?

M. what do you mean?

When you feel pain or fear or confusion.

M. that doesn’t feel like me.

Then what is it?

M. it is me looking for me.

Ah!  Look carefully at your wording: “me looking for me”.

M.  what is that?

It is a state.

M.  what?

It is a state of being – just as when you are emanating what feels good, familiar and home, as you “stated” earlier.

M. I said that?

Take a moment and look.  Let’s review again, shall we?

M. okay.  I feel like a little kid.

Well, we are just beginning this adventure, and you are watching with me from the beginning.

M. like going back in time in our mind?

More on that later, I promise.  But let’s review our conversation from a few moments ago.

M. okay.

I asked you where you felt your being and you said from the inside, in the center, as a vibration.  And that it felt good.

M. yes, it feels good.

Yes, it does.  You are in coherency.  You are aligned with the what of you and are riveted to that and nothing else.

Pause.

When you emanate from a place of fear and chaos, you are also “you” – a vibration that you describe as “me looking for me” – which is the opposite of coherency.  The opposite of coherency is called incoherency.

M.  what is that? 

Coherency is like the sin wave:  all of the crests and troughs of a wave are equal in distance, and phase is constant.  Like this photo that I found for free on the web:

Wavelength and amplitude are the same and are utilizing the same source of data and are in alignment.

M.  are we going to math now?  You know I was not so good at that.

We do not have to use a math example.  It is not important.  What is important is you recognize how it feels when you are in its state:  calm, focused, happy, centered and so on. For example, if you think about that dog that you were petting yesterday – remember you began to enter a zone with the animal?  Petting the dog was calming to you – touching the fur and seeing the dog respond to your interest and stimulation with a roll onto its back, exposing its belly. . .

M. oh yes, I love to be around animals.  And that room was chaotic where we were picking up my child from a birthday party.

Yes.  And now we are revealing that Eye Witness and Mind are one and the same.

M.  are we getting ahead of ourselves?

What do you mean?  Still believing in time?  Ha!  I know, that’s a joke.  We will bounce around quite a bit here, “we” being the operative word, though it is all one.

M.  when I am feeling coherent, as the diagram demonstrates, the wavelength and amplitude are equidistant within a given distance (is that called phase?)

Ah!  Look who is revealing their education.  Where did you study?

M. meta You – a metaphysical university course written by Dr. Toni Petrinovich.

Have you studied heart-math?

M. no, just read about it.

Eye Witness

A note to my reader: I will be publishing this book in installments here on my blog. Please feel free to comment in any way you can through wordpress, if you have an account, my email (kathrynsings@yahoo.com), or, if you read this on facebook, private message me. I look forward to your comments, criticisms, suggestions, and question.

https://paypal.me/VoiceofPresence

Eye Witness

Photo by Wings Of Freedom on Pexels.com

What:  a crime has been committed, the death of the spirit of a human being

When: while adjusting to earth

Where:  at the sight of belief

Why:

How:  amnesia

There has been a crime committed.  A body has been found living in the Earth Plane, Milky Way Galaxy, in a solar system on the outer ring of its spiral.   

She is walking around with no idea of her true identity – vulnerable to the beliefs of the mass consciousness around her and oblivious to the gifts that she garners within her spirit’s life which includes but transcends time.  She has allowed her amnesia to become complete, and is, as we speak, among the walking dead.  Her mind is full of fear and self-loathing, and I want to know why. I AM the Eye Witness.

Eye Witness:  played by the Author

Mind:  played by the Author

Council of Elders:  Intuitive guides who support Eye Witness, translated by Author

Heart, the realization of the Self of All – played by the Essence of the All, translated by the Author

The Eye Witness begins speaking:

What we have here is essentially a play in three acts.  The first act is the beginning of the amnesia of a human, the second act is remembering, and the third act, is the improvisatory stage that is created in honor of the first act.  It is to be lived in the time of no-time which cannot be described without considerable effort on our part, so we will leave that bit for later.

What comes to mind is to canvas the murder sight for clues.  To this end we implore you to engage your imaginations and come with us to a world that has no physical bearings whatsoever.  This world is not only dark and formless, it is empty.  What differentiates it from the sort of vacuum or void that it could be imagined here is the fact of its utter stillness, and for lack of a better word, peace. 

A peace that passes understanding is one with no opposite.  No attachment whatsoever to any concept of a polar bearing, while including that concept.  It just is, and that is what makes it the perfect site to plan a murder.

What, you ask?  A murder of the perfection of a peace that is beyond understanding?

Yes, and it is beyond understanding, because it is beyond time, which is synonymous here, with Mind (M).

M. how do you know that?

I don’t know.  I un-know.

M. what do you mean by that?

It reveals itself to me, not through the mind, but that which allows the mind to exist.  It is felt in the gut and traces upwards through the sternum, warming the body as if lit within by a toasty fire on a cold, cold day.

M. revelation, then?

I’ll leave that for you to “understand”.  More on that later.  Back to our murder scene . . .

. . .Where was I?  Oh, yes, utter stillness.  Observing the unfathomable strength and subtlety of this state, which has its roots in indefatigable nothingness without bearing or origin, you are aware of your divine nature – whole, holy and blessed to be a part of that which is nothing or no-thing.  It is the birthplace of contentment since it has no emphasis whatsoever.  And this contentment is without end, endlessly varied, complete and full within itself.  Just writing about it my Heart, or sacred core, responds in recognition.  At the same “time” recognition is expressed, there is a caveat: no one who experiences this depth of benevolence and grace leaves untouched.  Aware of the gift of life, free to partake of the immortal waters of gender-bending system-wide and constant whole-being bliss dialysis, the urge comes to each who knows “what they are” to contribute.

M.  Ah, therein lies the rub.  It’s the old tribal rule:  contribute or die! 

You are not dead, yet, for you have no need of belief.  It is more like, contribute to your own unfoldment and share the gifts of sovereignty with the All, of which you are a microcosm.

M. What the What?

In other words, contribute to the unfoldment of All, of which you are, or stay stagnant and atrophy.  And we come to earth, the site of the murder, to learn about choosing.  In the end, or outside of beginnings and endings, the now, we have chosen everything, because we enjoy the way the light refracts through us when we have become aware as a multifaceted bejeweled being.  Diamonds ARE a gal’s best friend, when it means knowing what you are so completely you give over to it.

M: wait, you are saying we are choosing this experience to stretch ourselves so that we can become what we already are?  Where is the fun in that?

Who said anything about fun?  What it is not is fun.  What it can be is an adventure with great seeming peril, which upon closer look is just files after files of fast moving still-shots, that you are shooting and participating in ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

M:  fuck.  And this is impossibly riveting.  Like choosing your own adventure, except we have forgotten we have a choice!!

Precisely.  Well said, mind.  You have a real future, you know?

M:  I do?

Nah, I was just kidding.  You are totally D.O.A. (Dead on Arrival).

M:  very funny.  Are you saying that I am born with the body and therefore die with it?

We aren’t saying anything without our lawyer.  Just kidding.  It’s like you want to know where you originate, correct?  But your origin is without origin since it has no beginning or end and is both existent, non-existent and beyond.  How do you describe a parabola?  It is a curve whose opposite is a straight line.  With straight lines your geometry is limited.  Just add curves and the sky’s the limit!  You have circles and shapes without end and just ask any kid if they prefer playing with sticks or a ball. 

But I digress.

Yes.  Mind, you are limited in your manifest form, and limitation, since it has an opposite, cannot survive on the flat line of non-duality that is your unmanifested nature (which, by the way, feels really good – like that bliss or nirvana that those sages describe – a long constant psychasm). 

M:  so, I throw myself a curveball, in so many words, and now we are calling that a crime?

I’m not calling the curve ball a crime, I am simply an eye witness.  You have called it a crime because of all your pissing and moaning at the outcome of your pitch!

M:  Can we slow down a bit here?

You got it, Muchacho.

MORE TO COME!

Life’s Markers

starry night by Lizzie Teixeira, age 6

It is my 47th birthday tomorrow, and many people will wish me happy birthday. There is an icecream cake in the freezer that my daughter helped my husband pick out, and a bright, flashy candle waiting to adorn it. What will I wish when it is time to “blow out the candles?”

What do you wish for when you intuit you already have everything, are everything?

When I began requesting of myself my own wisdom in my 20’s, the prayer was sincere and deep. In my thirties, the prayer was for peace. I made peace my goal. Becoming enamored with this goal led me to so many experiences through which to realize this peace. Having and holding a family, expressing creativity, taking classes that underscored my true nature being a few. Lots of obstacles and lots of stumbling and lots of rising. Lots and lots of rising.

My forties have ushered in the fear of mortality and the generation of immortality projects such as writing and singing, making a business out of my personality’s inclinations. Rich territory, and lots of growth.

This beautiful turn around the sun has me reflecting that Life, as it is, is enough. As a playwright, I watch the scenes unfold, allowing all of what I have learned about the creation of perception to guide. It is such a rich and full place to be. It is enough. It is more than enough. Will I ever feel differently?

I don’t know, and that is part of the adventure. How will I navigate this next year? What is my compass and north star? I feel that my being is its own compass, its own north star, since it is not a time-bound experience of life. Releasing the beliefs in shame and inadequacy have gone a long way in allowing the simple profundity of life – the depth and richness of moments’ awareness to be experienced. Birthing life? Maybe.

I watch others birth their lives. Each a different story, different guiding principles, a different emotional palette. Their way of birthing is no more right or wrong than mine. I can learn from all of them. From all of you. My birthday prayer is not to bless the world at this moment or to offer it well-wishes, although I do, always. My birthday prayer is to respect and enjoy it as it is. To respect and enjoy you as you are, with no need to change you, to have you believe or think as I do, and to see the colorful way your life displays as a temporary kaleidoscope of exotic, or mute, or even drab colors. What do I know of this? That choice is involved at some level, and that is enough for me. My ability to choose is a gift of the ages, as I’ve come to see it at this moment. And the arena, even as I sit here and type, is thrillingly infinite, such that I will never be bored, and am often amused.

That’s it.

Happy Birthday of the awareness of 1)awareness and 2)choice.

May we all be blessed by the birth of these awesome attributes in our hearts and minds.

Love,

The One called Kathryn, who sings, among other things.

kathrynsings@yahoo.com