“My conscious experience tells me what is true.”
On a snowy walk within the deer-inhabited ravine near our home, Recognition visited me in a way that was new, and as all things novel and unexpected, I turn to writing to flesh out my experience, making it my own.
As an introduction, I often go out into nature to release tension, free the mind, and open to the insights of a sensual world unencumbered by thought. In this state I experience my union with the elements: sun, wind, earth, water, animal, and I enjoy interacting with these fields and they with me. It is a dance.
While in this state, a few days ago, watching water alight with the sun’s rays, I heard the words “This is my creation, in which I am well-pleased”. It was in an embodied way, as if a portion of my mind was revealing an aspect of myself, as Creator, approving of her creation. Simple. Literal.
Magnifying this aspect, I realized its authenticity – I am creator of my world – through thoughts, observation, and knowing/feeling/sensing my connection within All That Is (in other words God, Allah, I Am, the Nameless and so on – ). I also realize, in hindsight, that I do not need to be here physically for my creation to continue existing – and that is true for all of us.
I was recently told by someone that they hoped that I believe I am created by God, and that I believed in the tenants of salvation through Jesus. They wanted me to know what they know and experience life they way they do, but just because it is not for me to accept someone else’s beliefs does not mean they do not exist for them.
In addition, my conscious experience tells me what is true. When I created unconsciously, through belief that I was powerless, yet somehow redeemed (because of that powerlessness?), I was at the mercy of a mind that was full of confusion, self-doubt and fear. As soon as I became aware that there was another way to be, that the mind can be worked with, loved, understood and integrated within the whole of the divine spirit that is our birthright, I set to work in this life ~ with the ally of utmost humility as it is no small thing to have the ability to turn within and become aware. The work of Master Teacher Reverend Doctor Toni Petrinovich has been crucial to this endeavor. Profoundly, the love and support of my dear husband, Fernando – no fair-weather friend, and the loving presence of my two divinely courageous children, Elizabeth and Arthur, have turned me towards my light, distinctly. Surrendering to that light is my life’s calling.
I am also indebted to my parents and Ancestors, and I revere their profound perseverance and strength. They have overcome tremendous obstacles in order to bring forth and nurture this life – my life. Who can repay that debt? And yet I do by becoming what they would, given the same opportunities and proclivities in this life.
I Am that I Am, indeed. After the party is over, all is said and done and my body is ready to merge with the earth again upon my transition, what do I have? What do any of us have? In this moment and ever-more, it is our Essence, Love And with It, I Am Well-Pleased.
Master Teacher Toni Petrinovich demonstrates how Love ties it all together in this gorgeous weaving of words, which she has given me permission to share here. Thank you, Toni (see http://www.sacredspaceswa.com)
I rarely post the entirety of my newsletter article to FB. In this case, I am making an exception because it is something absolutely everyone is to know. It is entitled Love – How It Ties Everything Together: Before there was time, before there was space – that which is truly nameless existed. Some call it God, some Source, some I AM, some All That Is and many, many other names in an attempt to name that which has no name. Yet, that is not the point of our story. Today I am going to tell you a tale of creation – a creation story – how it all began and how it all ties together. Let us imagine the Nameless consciously existing as light for the purposes of this story. If I am going to weave a yarn, I need threads with which to weave, so let my first thread be light without purpose or goal. And for the purpose of our story, let’s give this light a name – let’s call it Love – not human love with all of its conditions and expectations – but Limitless Love, Absolute Love without judgment or form. Now, we have set the stage. Let’s begin the story: The light, Love, is aware of Itself, consciously aware of Itself and Its beginninglessness and endlessness. It is aware – only that. Love is aware. In a timeless moment, Love begins to express in form. It sends out rays of love-filled light, emanations of Itself. This light contains everything that Love is because it is extending Itself into space that It is creating as It spreads, ever-unfolding into the infinite space that It is creating with each extension. The waves of light are endless and are composed of all that Love is. Each aspect of these waves has an affinity to each other aspect because each is the same. Each emanation contains all that Love is and is drawn to re-unite with all other emanations that are also all that Love is. Time is created as it begins to pass in this manifestation of Love. Moving through the now created space, time now has a place because It has space in which to record Its passing. And as time passes, the draw to re-combine, to unite totally in Love’s union begins to overtake the waves of light. They join, wind tightly together in different forms and shapes. Particles of light begin to take shape as the frequency of the light slows down to ravishingly enjoy this encounter with Itself. The shapes take different forms and within those forms the consciousness of Love exists. Time is passing. Time is recording in space the happenings within the emanations of Love. A record of conception is being created. Then, in a given moment in time in space, the various particles of Love enraptured with each other fuse into a form that begins to identify Itself as individual. This is a natural outcome of the enchanted delight of Love’s forms because it gives Love ever-increasing variations into which to pour its pure Love. Each form takes a name, an identity as Love. Eventually, these forms would be called human beings. So, now in our story, we have arrived at Love’s creation of human beings as aspects of Love itself characterized by a composite of Its attributes. And, since Love comprises all – within its properties are also judgment, anger, separation and hate. Love has been conscious of this, yet has not placed emphasis upon any of Its attributes because Its formless existence found no necessity to do so. So, as the human beings, conscious Love in form, begin to explore all of their individual aspects and properties, their concentration on their physical form, their flesh and all that it feels and contains begin to be the center of each human being’s attention. Time passes. Each human being begins to feel like he or she is the only one experiencing the passing of time, pain within the physical body, longing for union once again, in general, a deep sense of loss. As time continues to pass, each human being becomes so distracted with its physical form that it forgets what it actually is. Meanwhile, Love is holding all of its manifested emanations without judgment in the eternal Love that it is. So, now in our story, picture it if you would – each human being standing on the earth that came to be created as its home, believing that it was, or should I say is, the only emanation of Love because it has forgotten through time that every other person, place and thing it sees contains all of the aspects of Love, as well. Yet, because time has passed, each individual has forgotten that it is Love – as well as fear, hate, disappointment, expectation and hope. Each human being has begun to believe that the only way to find peace once again is by controlling the ground upon which it is standing, the actions of those others (who could not be Love like it is) and by focusing all of its attention on making sure that the form in which it is living feels good, no matter what it takes to do so. Meanwhile, Love is holding all of its manifested emanations without judgment in the eternal Love that it is. So, how does all of this tie together? It is really quite simple. You are made of Love – that is all. Everything that you feel is part of that Love. Yet, it is up to you how you are going to express yourself in each moment of passing time as it records your thoughts, words and actions in created space. And, since Love Itself is extending Itself as you, it is your choice how you are going to appear as that Love. As we said, Love is All. Love is conscious of the discomfort that comes with feeling hurt, deep emotional pain, fear of loss, insecurity. Love is holding you, as its manifested emanation, without judgment as you feel these experiences. Yet, only you can bring the circle fully around and back to the moment in which Love emanated itself. Only you know what feels so enrapturing, so enthralling that you do not ever want to leave that time and space, want to continue experiencing this union with Love in its fullest, infinite, complete form. Only you can create the weaving of the threads for yourself because you are that Love in form. When you accept that you are the endless love that you call by any other name, God, Source, I AM, or whatever label you have given to Love, when you feel and know that you are that Love in every fiber of your being, then it will all tie together for you. Meanwhile, Love is holding all of Its manifested emanations without judgment in the eternal Love that It is ~ without time or space, infinitely and eternally. It is emanating, expressing, revealing Itself as you.