When we dream, are we really free from the labels and identities we wear in the waking life? What are the parameters around the subject matter for our nighttime voyages? Are they the terrain of the purported “Fourth Dimension?” Are dreams the “Royal Road to the Unconscious” as Jung permitted, or a necessary form of mental housekeeping that allows us to return to waking life refreshed, renewed? Are we enhanced by remembering and dissecting them?
My theory is “yes” and utilizing a recent dream, I will argue why.
My dreamscape last night included an episode where I birthed a baby. This has happened in the past, yet in this dreamscape the baby had no umbilical cord and I remarked on that fact within the dream, itself. Now, when I told my husband about my dream this morning, I stated it like I just did, without embellishment. What if I take the time to fill in the blanks. Will I shed light on the “here and now”, as I do so?
Taking time to view the details, I admit to myself how happy I am when I have “birthing” dreams. It is such a joy to relive a blessed moment of bringing a life into the world, without actually having to birth a physical life with its accompanying pains – *wink!
I am so happy in the dream that I drag out the anticipation – enjoying every moment and micro-moment pre-birth. I enjoy recalling the other births I have participated in during dream time – the dream referencing other dreams in a paralell reality of memory. The joy is blissful. I feel radiant to be serving in this capacity, and there is no downside since I know nothing can go “wrong” here.
There are folks to assist me in this dream, as there have been in my dreaming memory of other birthing dreams. Plenty who want to take part. Yet this time, things feel different. I don’t want to give birth with any assistance: in fact, I do not want anyone around, so I leave to go to the bathroom. There, unencumbered by any one else’s expectations, I go into an easy labor on the toilet. (After excreting there – metaphor for getting rid of what is no longer needed, I turn to the subject at hand: birthing!) I push the head out – or the head comes out with very little effort. I take time to enjoy the process. I pause to look at my baby. Very calm little one, no stress or strain, no fear or anxiety, perfect knowing and allowing. I wonder how the shoulder is going to make it through the vaginal canal and if I will be able to maneuver it properly and safely. No problem, we seem to be making a good team, for (and now I know it is a she) – for she comes tumbling out! I am so happy to meet this baby and to hold her to my chest. She needs so little orientation – she is not needing to express crying or fear, yet is present and enjoying our meeting – I almost said reunion – for it feels much more like a reunion. We are just so happy to be together. In the back of my mind I am reminding myself that the Placenta will need to be birthed – and then the hitch – though it seemed neutral – we remarked together that there was no umbilical chord!!! Not only that, but my baby was immediately self-sufficient with no apparent physical needs at all. Though my maternal sense was a little disoriented, there was a mechanism that felt very clear in the dream that this was a strong message: this baby is your Self – totally independent, free, and sufficient. Even as an infant, my Self expressed its absolute independence from me. A little disappointed and feeling like ‘I couldn’t possibly do my duty as a mother without protecting this vulnerable child’, I was next ushered to a scene that in my waking life gives me pause: there was a line up of babies showing my little one without an umbilical cord, as an anomaly.
As I read over my writing, I am struck by how it must feel to be God, and in fact, to know that as God, you are giving birth to yourself over and over again – trusting your vulnerable creation to make its way through the maze of physical life as it reads the signs and wakes up to its status as creator. The mixed feelings, the ambivalence of letting go, of trusting, of knowing not every experience will be pleasant. What kind of heart would allow that? It must take a very great heart, I am thinking.
Isn’t that what we ask of ourselves? To exercise our great heart? To birth our life, our self, in this life and to let it be free from our worry and doting? Aren’t we asked, after all, to trust?
There is no ‘plan to trust in’ that compares to trusting in the knowledge of what you are. You are divine. You are sacred. You are the I Am.
When things feel shaky, I now know it goes back to belief. What am I believing, what am I paying attention to, and why? If this world were the last word on ultimately reality, then I would have to be up in arms about the state of the world’s more disturbed scenes. It would be cause for great alarm and stress. As it is, it does sometimes trigger me, and that is not a sign to necessarily ignore it, but to dig deeper: my dream is showing me that we are ALL self-born. We are born without umbilical chords because our divine ancestry is not physical in origin. Who we really are is independent of the cycle of incarnations we participate in. It is self-born and independent and there is an opportunity to be aware of this, now. We need not judge those who choose difficult experiences because we all learn and grow through our experiences (sometimes our difficulties help us to remove burdensome masks). They can make us aware of depths of wisdom and compassion formerly reserved for saints and angels – in fact they can put us in touch with our immortal reality as ‘every experience everywhere in the form of intention.’ That intention, simply put, is I AM, and it is one worth lovingly running towards . . .