The next two anniversaries that I like to celebrate have, in my heart, my beloved husband, Fernando (Feb. 14, or St. Valentine’s Day, and March 13, Wedding Anniversary).
How can it be that the one person who asks me to walk my talk in utter integrity day by day, moment by moment, is also my great cheerleader and supporter?
Let me illustrate:
About a year after I married my beloved husband, Fernando, I began to poke around the veneer of my personality to see what was underneath. This is a direct result of how loved and safe I felt in my marriage. Truly beloved and cherished.
The counselor that I had been working with received a call one day. I was in a state of panic and fear that had no clear source, and I was reaching out for help. Her response, in so many words, was that I had better not go in the direction I was going (deeper) or I would lose my husband, Fernando.
oh, how little did she know about this man that I had married. I am not saying that Fernando has relished seeing his wife endure pain. I am not saying that he wouldn’t prefer that those that he love were in balance and well-being eternally.
And yet, his steadfastness and love, to me, was a clear message that seemed to say “if you have the courage to go deeper, then I have the courage to support you.” To my credit, I am in the drivers seat of my life. I care enough about myself to reach out for help when I need it, and to receive the help I am given. I have been hard-wired to discover my true self – since I can remember. It is my nature to seek until I find. And now, after some time practicing this, I am finding whatever I seek, within. It’s been 8 years since the moment described above . . .
. . .and what a joyous leg of the journey this is for me. I get to share all that I am finding with those around me, and I have the conviction, from experience, that every person has the same ability to find their own self within themself.
I walk my talk, I am walking my talking, and DEAR FERNANDO, you have brought me so much courage, inspiration and comfort. This post is for you!