con·tain
/kənˈtān/
Verb
Have or hold (someone or something) within.
Be made up of (a number of things); consist of.
Synonyms
hold – include – comprise – restrain

In this blog I am exploring the concept that is “Containment.”  I have had it suggested to me by more than one person that I might benefit from “containing myself.”  I don’t know why, but it seems that after years of being aware of this concept, I am finally ready to embrace it.

I am finally ready to embrace “me.”  I put it in quotes, because there are so very many me’s to contain and embrace.  There are approximately 8 billion of me in human form, etc., you get the idea.  Courtesy of dictionary.com, I read that to contain means to have or hold, someone or something, within.  I love this definition.  To hold myself within.  In this moment, I imagine all of the swirls of energy that comprise my full energetic body being focused within – it seems its a way of being emotionally tidy.  I have been deeply impressed by those in my life who have had difficulty containing or holding themselves and I have been deeply impressed by those in my life who seem to rest in the ease and grace of self containment.

Lest I become too wordy in my exploration of this concept, I will switch gears to a poem-prose, which is a way for me to express in a more symbolic arena, how I am feeling about applying this concept in my life, as I am:

In this moment,  I see the blue of my childhood room.

The wallpaper with holly-hobby images  ~

and I crawl into my childhood bed and stare

at this wall.  It feels so solid, it feels so holy.

Holy wall?  This wall holds me.  It holds me, wholly.

It holds me in its holiness.  I merge with this wall.

I am the wall.  I am safe.

The water at Brendell Beach holds me

I am beholden in the water.  I sink into its softness

I am baptized again and again.  The communal bath

of bathers

holds me.  Stripped to our suits, stripped of our pretense,

we hold each other.  I am the water. I am safe.

My friend suggests, “contain yourself.”

“Grow more loving towards yourself.”

I see another Katie in another time and another place-

she seems to hold herself so easily, with no apology,

almost taking it for granted.

I can learn, too, to sort of “take for granted” – just a little bit-

holding myself.  I can let it be

Let me be, as I am, just so easily

that forgetting to do so is but a foreign land

that visited me once.

Yes, I welcomed it.  Yes, I have welcomed forgetting.

and now, now

it is time for remembering.

The will of God invites it, the will of God

suggests it, the will of God, in my heart,

demands it.  In the most gracious and contained way:

for my will and God’s will to be one,

For our hearts to be blended with ease and grace,

I exhort myself to hold myself – with a wink in my eye,

since

it is really an invitation from me to me

to celebrate

Yes, to celebrate

the life that I am

by holding myself,

containing myself,

continually.